Ch 3: The Realization

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"Have you ever heard of Hanahaki disease, Keith?" Pidge pushed up her glasses and tugged at her sleeve softly, looking only slightly nervous.

"Hanahaki? No." I looked at her and squinted my eyes. "What is that?"

"Well..." she awkwardly walked away from the petals she had been standing near before to the door, "I only know a bit about it off the top of my head but I can find more information on it if you come with me."

When following her outside the hall to her room, I asked, "So, what is wrong with me?"

They had made their way to Pidge's room and Pidge sat at her computer and began typing quickly. "Hanahaki is an illness that makes the victim cough up flower petals and when progressed, whole flowers. It can be potentially fatal if not cured or treated. How long have you been...in this state?" She talked quickly and it was a lot to take in.

"Wait, what the hell? Pidge stop for a second." Keith pressed his fingers to his temples. "And just so you know, it's only been a few days."

Nodding, Pidge began typing more while talking absentmindedly, "It's caused by the heartache of unrequited love. So, who is it?" So blunt. Her tone was purely analytical, no emotion whatsoever.

Unrequited love? Love? "I'm not in love with anyone," I mumbled unsure. I'd never been in love before.

Pidge looked in my direction and squinted in disbelief, "I find that hard to believe since you have a new illness literally caused by it." She sighed when she saw Keith furrowing his eyebrows, "Okay- just, keep me updated and especially let me know if it gets worse."

I turned to leave at that and promised to let her know how it progresses. I stopped when I heard Pidge move, "It says the only cures are to get the petals surgically removed and lose all memories of the one you love or get the person to love you back." Furrowing my brows, I mumbled an okay and left out the door.

Once I'd made it back to my room, I flopped down on my bed and sighed. There was a lot to think about. A disease that was caused by heartache? I'd be the first to deny it, but the symptoms were undeniable. Is it possible to be in love with someone and not know? After being on this ship surrounded by people, I was discovering a lot about friendship and closeness as it was. Everything was new. How should I know what love feels like? With all these new feelings, I guessed it could be possible.

When I dropped out of the Garrison, I read many novels, some of which were love stories. I never particularly fancied them since they seemed a bit out there and out of reach. Unrealistic mostly. The feelings were so alien. I could never relate to any of the lovesick characters. I don't think I can right now either.

Suddenly something occurred to the oblivious palladin and he sat up. "Maybe I can just think of all the people I know one at a time and see if I react," he mumbled to himself. If the sickness is caused by lovesickness, maybe I'll be able to find out who is causing it myself?

I thought of Shiro first. He'd always been there for me. When I thought of him, my throat didn't ache. I just felt thankful to have him in my life and there for me. Okay, so I'm not in love with Shiro. I guess this is a good start.

I thought of Hunk next and just felt hungry. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't eaten my breakfast. Slight hunger pains, but no throat pains. I guess that is a...relief?

I then decided to think about Lance. When I thought of him, I felt an itching in my throat. Oh, God. I immediately began to cough and curse. A few petals fell into my hands and another few along the floor.

Almost as soon as I looked at the petals, the realization came very clear to me and I felt like crying out in frustration. I dropped the petals in my hands and peered as they gently fell to the others. It's almost as if these flowers were laughing at me and I felt humiliated. It all suddenly seemed so obvious. 

I felt humiliated because the realization hit me with the weight of a thousand bricks. I unknowingly fell in love with the idiot, Lance. I clenched my jaw tightly.

He has only viewed me as a rival. He would never love me. Tears came down my cheeks as I felt my throat burn stronger than it had before. I choked and coughed up a large quantity of multicolored petals and a bit of blood.

Laughing bitterly, I looked at the mess I'd made, "I'm really a hopeless case." Wiping my mouth, I wobbled a bit as I stood up. At the very least, I should clean this up.

While cleaning up the mess, I realized that I really hate flowers. 

Okay! I don't know if this seems out of character because I wrote this sort of quickly. I got sort of excited and decided to write something on a whim. For once I actually feel sort of happy with the writing despite not really liking how I convey things. Also, just as a side note, it literally only occurred to Keith to think of guys because he is gay in this story. Anyways! I'll try to update often! 

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