The summer of 20XX1. It came in gently like a wave washes over damp and gently tanned sand. As that wave repeated its pattern of tide in and tide out, a heavy tsunami of mental health issues was rushing to the shore of my brain.
Now, the question from before must be boiling in your brain. Who am I? Not in the context of yourself, of course, but who am I? The name my parents crowned me with is Zayna, but I call myself Zed. What am I? Well, I was born a girl, but now I'm of neither sex. I'm not of the nonbinary genders- I know what my genitalia makes me, but they make me a neither. Back in the day, when I decided to originally not be a girl, I was a transmale or a transgendered male without any surgery. I would bind my chest and beg to cut my hair, but this is barely the surface of my story. My story is of the summer and my betrayal to other people I thought I didn't love.
It was the first official day of summer in 20XX1. School ended the previous day and this meant I'd be with my family all the damn time. They'd attempt to drag me to the beach or the pool, my four sisters that is, and when I would hide away and decline, they'd be so disappointed. Honestly, I wanted to be shirtless in swim trunks, but the carcass I lived in would force me to wear a swimsuit which showed off my bust and define my privates. It always made me wonder, why would someone want to see a past anorexic made of pure bone and wiggly skin with a ginger crew cut, large breasts, and an obvious vulva prance around in the water like a brain dead dolphin?
The door slammed open, making me jump out of my skin. In stepped my younger sister, Monika, who was eight and short with lengthy charcoal-colored hair and grey eyes. Unfortunately, those pretty ash eyes were mostly concealed due to two large cataracts which held back the glow of the colors which surrounded our world and any chance of her seeing the daylight. Truly a shame, but I could do nothing of it. This child was tortured for the rest of her life.
"Hey Zayna-"
"ZED."
She responded to my interjection by snottily fixing her mistake. "Hey ZED, you missed out on the fishing competition at the beach." I sat there dumbfounded. I just missed a fishing trip? "Oh," I replied, "Did you win? I hope you remembered what Stace taught you." Monika raised a brow, "But didn't she learn from you?" I avoided the question just to hide the fact that I was furious over missing something I'd of easily won. When I didn't answer, she changed the subject, "I won a black goldfish with big funny eyes! I named him Greg." She held up that bag, where a young and cross-eyed looking Black Moor Goldfish swam in circles. "Oh," I said again, "He's a cutie."
She probably didn't know what size fish she caught, but even if she told me, I wasn't the type to be proud over stuff like that. Actually, I wasn't the type to be proud of anyone. I hated the world and it hated me back just like that.
In stepped my sister, Stacy, but we all called her Kitty. At the age of fifteen, it was sad to see her so short, about four feet and nine inches. She was chubby and lazy, but had a certain spark to her when she drew pictures or got extremely feisty. She had hair like Monika- jet black, but her eyes were a soft mint green color, falling nicely with her pale skin. She smirked at me before saying, "Did y'see what Mon won? Biggest fish caught by a lil'kiddo."
I snorted at her, "You just want me to get jealous because I was busy spoiling myself." She began to laugh and pointed fingers at yours truly, making a bunch of comments about me. Nothing she ever said got under my skin- I just hated her and she hated me. "C'mon," she said to Monika, "Les' leave this twelve year old snrub to himself." Before the kid could reply, she dragged her away and when I got the chance, I covered my face and dragged out a sigh.
She called me a 'snrub'. Every time she used that damn word, I wanted to choke her. It was so stupid, so small, so useless.. But then again, she was too.
Aparra, my eldest sister, and my baby sister, Nordi, were the last to come in. They looked exactly the same as Kitty, except Aparra being taller and Nordi having pale azure eyes like me and an obsession with a lavender lily flower hair clip. Aparra didn't even glance as Nordi giggled as she watched me. I felt so attacked by that chortle. It was a call of challenge- of mockery even. Zed was the fool. Zed was the mistake. Zed was made to suffer.
