UNIVERSE / BTS.

42: lost boy / taegiseok

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YOONGI AND HOSEOK'S place was nice. warm, inviting. it always smelt of candles and yoongi's distinct cologne, musky and lovely. taehyung breathed in deep as he followed hoseok in; the drive there had been semi-silent, khalid playing from the cd player, hoseok singing along softly in a way that made taehyung melt.

"hey!"

yoongi's voice was soft, just like him, as he greeted his boyfriend with a kiss and taehyung with a smile. he was in a gorgeous beige sweater that made his honey complexion pop, and his blue hair had faded to a bleach blonde that taehyung had maybe, just maybe fantasised running his hands through more than once. his smile was dazzlingly bright as he hugged taehyung, the youngest boy revelling in the simple touch.

"hello hyung," taehyung forced on a smile. he knew hoseok and yoongi had the illusion of him being okay implanted in their minds, and who was he to tell them otherwise? if they chose to see him as the happy taehyung they'd met a few years ago, he wasn't going to correct them. they hadn't yet picked up on his odd eating habits, on his alcoholism, on his slow deterioration. as long as yoongi and hoseok were happy, taehyung didn't need to be.

"what's for dinner?" taehyung faked an interest at the food, trying not to lean too much into hoseok's arm around his shoulder. yoongi lead them to the kitchen, pointing at a wok on the gas.

"pad thai," he answered, trying to take plates out of the high cupboard– it was so cute how he had to stand on tippy toes, so small in comparison to taehyung and hoseok. "ugh! hoseokie, gimme a hand!"

hoseok laughed in a way that made taehyung's heart flutter, hard, and his arm left taehyung's shoulder to help yoongi out, taehyung almost fucking whining at the loss. plates were taken out easily, and hoseok served up while taehyung lay the table with three sets of chopsticks.

the table was small, round, perfect for three to four people. taehyung was pushing his food around his plate with the ends of his chopsticks, not sure if he wanted to eat, instead making conversation. "so, yoongi hyung, how's that track you're producing for that boygroup doing?"

yoongi smiled at the mention of his music career. "ah, good, good. classic debut song, lots of sweet descriptions, but they've got great potential. and they're paying for our new sofa!" he laughed. hoseok grinned widely, his hair going curly from the rain outside and frizzing up around his face.

"what've you been up to, tae? i haven't seen you in ages!" yoongi asked, before scooping noodles into his mouth. taehyung shrugged, rolling his lip into his mouth; should he tell them the truth? 'everything's fine, i just hate myself and my body and maybe i'm in love with both of you which makes me feel like shit–' no, he wouldn't do that.

"uh, i've been good," he said, forcing himself into eating a mouthful of the (delicious) pad thai. yoongi's cooking had definitely improved. "not... not doing much. writing, mostly. working shifts at the offie down the road. usual."

"you should write more, taehyungie," hoseok grinned, his balenciaga sneaker nudging against taehyung's worn vans under the table. taehyung shrugged. "'m serious! your poetry is really good."

"i agree with hobi, taetae," yoongi nodded. taehyung's heart melted just a little more at the honey coated nickname, almost blanching from how fucking affectionate and domestic the whole scenario seemed. "seriously, you could make music out of it."

"mm." taehyung hummed. he ate a few more bites, forced himself to, even if he felt liable to throw up. the rest of the meal went in silence, a few jokes and daily conversation exchanged here and there. taehyung offered to wash up, but his offer was refused, hoseok doing it instead. so he made his way to the bathroom, ready to make the pad thai resurface into the clean porcelain of the toilet bowl.

what he didn't expect, though, was yoongi cornering him in the bathroom, his lips grazing taehyung's collarbones.

"h-hyung, what the f-fuck–" taehyung stuttered out, so confused. no no no, his mind screamed, this is all wrong, so fucking wrong, they're dating and you're worthless, unworthy of them–

but then yoongi kissed him and his mind shut up.

it was like a dream, how soft yoongi's lips actually were, and how lost he became in his touch. fuck, he was so far gone for the two boys, so hopelessly gone, and he shouldn't have allowed yoongi to pin him up against the wall and kiss him in his and hoseok's apartment. taehyung placed his hands on yoongi's shoulders and, with all the strength he had, pushed yoongi off, not allowing further contact of their lips.

"what the fuck, yoongi?" he spat, voice stronger than it had been in weeks. "oh my god, oh my fucking god– you're dating hoseok, yoongi, why would you– fucking hell." staring at yoongi, taehyung gripped tightly at his hair. "why would you?!"

yoongi looked through his fringe at taehyung. "okay, taehyung, i'm going to need you to shut up and just follow me back to the kitchen, because you, hoseok and i need to talk/"

he grabbed at taehyung's hand and pulled him out of the bathroom, the skinny boy following him somewhat unwillingly. oh fuck, oh fuck, had yoongi found out about whatever he and hoseok had been doing? why was this happening? why did yoongi kiss him? he was so confused, lost in the sea of messed up love and boys who wouldn't give him explanations.

hoseok was sat at the table when the two walked back in, and yoongi forced taehyung into another chair. taehyung dug his nails into his palm as yoongi sat down; fuck, here came the interrogation, the "what's been going on?" talk, everything taehyung didn't want. his sunken eyes met yoongi's, scared.

"hyungs, i'm sorry–"

"–no, taehyung," hoseok spoke softly, cutting taehyung off. "yoongi and i... we gotta talk to you about something."

taehyung bit hard at his lip, the inside of his mouth beginning to bleed.

"don't look so nervous, taetae," yoongi smiled. "we... we wanna propose something."

"w-what?" taehyung choked out.

"we wanna propose dating you. like, both of us," hoseok took taehyung's hand that was on the table in two of his own, brushing his thumbs across the boy's skin. "i... i've liked you for a really long time, but i also love yoongi, and yoongi likes you too. we both wanna be with you, tae. would–would you let us?"

taehyung could feel tears welling up in his eyes. this was surreal; it couldn't be happening, not to an unlucky bastard like taehyung, he didn't deserve this sort of euphoria. a hand is held up to plump lips as choked sobs escaped, bony spine folding as he collapsed his head into his hands, sobbing hard. there was hands on his back and comforting words whispered into empty air, and there were lips pressed to his hands that one of the older boys had taken in their own.

"tae, tae, are you okay?" yoongi asked worriedly, holding taehyung's hand as hoseok crouched down and looked at taehyung with concern. the youngest sobbed.

"y-yes, i w-wanna date you, d-date you both, p-please."

hoseok smiled softly. "well then you can, baby. we'll take it slow, hm?"

"yeah, slow," yoongi agreed, pressing a kiss to taehyung's hand, gentle. "do you wanna stay here tonight?"

"pl-please."

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aight neta here u go my mate. this was fun to write,,, took me fuckin ages

love u
– jace