Can't Remember To Forget You

Chapter 36 (Last Chapter)

Last chapter *cries* :'(

This honestly was so painful to write, can't explain it. But don't worry, there will be an epilogue :')

ily <3

Enjoy...

**

Summer is quickly approaching, and I’m becoming more and more anxious. My first semester here at the University of California: Los Angeles has gone by surprisingly fast, and it’s given me ample time to figure everything out. I feel like a new person really; for once I’m in a good place.

Just last month, I received a call from Anne. We talk every now and then, but this call was much different from our usually chats—she broke the news to me that she and my dad were trying to work things out again. She wanted to be the one to tell me in case I was upset, but I told her I supported her. At first I was confused, but I know deep down my dad would never do something like that again. He would never cheat on Anne like he had with my mom.

Our talk surfaced a lot of pain I was holding inside of me, but somehow I managed to get through it. I’ve even decided to go back to San Diego to have dinner with Anne and Dad. Funny how things change. But I’m ready. I’ve talked to Dad a few times over the phone, and I know it’s unfair for me to hold this grudge. I never thought I’d think this, but it’s time to forgive and forget; there’s nothing we can do to change it, and I know he’s trying to make up for it. All I can ask of my dad is that he doesn’t make the same mistake again, and that he does not lie to me anymore, and so far, he’s managed to do that. So I’m appreciative, and I will give him yet another chance.

There was one stipulation to meeting my dad again, however, and it had nothing to do with him or Anne. I asked that we would meet on a day Harry would not be around, and he would not find out. I didn’t want him to know I was back in town for different reasons.

Our contact hasn’t been much in the past months, and I still miss him like crazy, but I’m uncertain if that was enough time. I feel that I may be ready, but I want to be 100 percent certain that both of us are, and I’d like him to have more time if he needs it. So for now, we continue our little to no contact and work through our own personal conflicts. One day we’ll find our way back to each other, this I know.

Today, I pack a small bag for my trip to San Diego. Colleen, my roommate, and I will still be living in our apartment over the summer, but Dad insisted that I at least stay the night at the house so I don’t have to drive so much in one day. I agreed only because he said Harry would be staying at a friend's.

I still know it’ll be difficult to go back there, however. The memories in that house will flood my memory as soon as I step through those doors, but I’m finally ready. I’m stronger now.

Colleen is out with her boyfriend Drew today, so as soon as I’m all packed, I make myself a cup a coffee and head out. I have many mixed emotions about going back to San Diego and seeing my dad, but it’s time.

I feel much older than my eighteen years lately; I’ve really made progress with myself by moving here, and although it was difficult on myself and Harry, I hope he recognizes that once (if) we reunite, it will all have been worth it.

**

“Oh Avery, I’m so happy you decided to come out here. I’ve missed you.” My dad runs up to the car and pulls me into a tight embrace, like he hasn’t seen me in ages. It feels like it’s been that long.

“Hi, Dad,” is all I can manage. My throat tightens with emotion, and I really don’t even know why. I suppose it just feels good to let go of all the anger I held inside towards him. It’s a new beginning.

“How was the drive down?”

“Long,” I laugh. “Is Anne inside?”

Dad takes my bag from the backseat of my car and ushers me inside to where Anne is making dinner for the three of us. Once again, I feel my eyes watering when I see the bright, happy woman smiling in the kitchen. I haven’t seen her since I left, and I’ve really missed her.

“Avery!” She beams and drops the spoon she was stirring something with and runs over to me. “Oh, I’ve missed you darling. It’s so good to have you home.”

“I missed you too, Anne,” I say as I hug her back.

“We have so much to catch up on! But why don’t you sit down at the table and I’ll get dinner served.”

I smile and comply to her request, sitting next to my dad at the dinner table. We eat Anne’s famous chicken Alfredo and mostly talk about my life in Los Angeles. It feels weird to be having such a normal conversation with them, talking about my classes and my new friends, but I love it. I truly feel like I’m at home, although there is still one thing, or person rather, that is missing.

I opt not to mention Harry at dinner, but I make note to talk to Anne later. I’m really appreciative that she didn’t hate me after leaving, or my decision to break up with Harry even after all that he’d been through. I’m grateful she understood, and that she supports me just like my own mother would. It makes me happy to see her again, and back with my dad, because she’s smiling much more, and I can tell she is much more happy herself.

Things have changed around here, and I can only hope that Harry has too.

After dinner, Dad resorts to the couch to watch a baseball game on the TV while I help Anne clean up. She makes conversation about her book club and her job, her plans for the wedding that is now back on for next year, but she never mentions Harry. I’m grateful for that, but I also have so many questions, so when she takes a sip from her wine, I start with an easy one:

“Does my dad know about… Does he know that Harry and I were..?” I don’t know why I’m such a stuttering mess or why I can’t finish my though, but thankfully Anne understands.

She nods and gives me a knowing look. “I had to tell him,” she says apologetically. “He was worried about you moving to LA on your own after everything with you being sick, and I had to convince him you were okay, and why you needed to get away. I’m sorry, Avery, I hope you’re not upset.”

“No, I’m not upset, I was just wondering. He doesn’t know about the baby though?” I have to force the words from my mouth, because I hate talking about it.

This time Anne shakes her head, “No. And I won’t tell him. I think it’s your decision if or if not you want to tell him, and if you do, it should be you telling him.”

I nod and dry the last plate. “How is he?” I ask quietly.

She sighs and begins to wipe down the counters with a rag. “He’s better, Avery. It’s been hard on him, you leaving, and trying to catch up on school, but he’s better.”

I feel myself exhale the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “I’m glad,” I say truthfully.

“He misses you, you know.”

I try to take a deep breath as a lone tear spills from my eyes. “I miss him too.”

Anne sighs again and walks over to hug me once she notices my tears. “I know he was stubborn about you leaving, but he understands now. I know he doesn’t blame you, and… never mind.”

“What?” I ask.

“I just think you should talk to him. For closure, or just to talk. I know he’d be here in a heartbeat if he knew you were here.”

I sigh and pull out of our embrace. “I can’t, Anne. I just don’t know if I’m ready to see him yet. I believe everything you’re saying, I’m just… I’m afraid things will be different,” I admit.

My biggest fear that my decision to leave didn’t actually do us any good, and things between us will never be okay again. I really don’t want that; I did this all so we can be happy together one day.

“You’ll never know until you talk to him,” Anne tells me. And she’s right.

“I know… Maybe I’ll stick around a little longer tomorrow before I leave and we can talk.”

“Avery, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. You’re free to move back in if you want to, darling, you know I love having you here and now that things with your dad are better, I’m sure he’d love to have you back.”

“I don’t know… I have my apartment, and I can’t back out on Colleen…”

Am I actually considering this? I haven’t even spoken to Harry yet. First things first, Avery, I remind myself.

“Well just know that we’d love to have you back, and in the time being, you can visit here as long as you need to. Your room will always be yours.”

“Thank you, Anne. For everything.” I hug her again.

“I should thank you too, Avery,” she mutters into my hair. She must sense my confusion because she continues, “I hate talking about it, but Harry really changed after we lost Gemma, and I know coming here was hard for him, but once he met you, I know he finally started to live again.”

Anne pulls back and holds me at arms length to look at me. “I’m know I’ve told you this before, but thank you for being apart of his life. Even after every thing that happened with the rehab…” she trails off as she remembers the horrific time, “just know that I don’t blame you, I never did. I’m so thankful that you supported him through that time, and I’ll forever be in your debt for all you’ve done for my son.”

We’re both crying like babies after she finishes. “Thank you for having such an amazing son,” I laugh through my tears.

“I really hope you two can work through this, but just know, I’ll always be here for you. No matter what happens, I love you, and you can come to me for anything.”