The Torn

End

Depth of pain a second can cause me, just because I was the happiest Intern. Just because I was the enthusiastic student. Just because I made everyone awee at me with my childishness at my work place.

But how can I function?

Something was torn from me, could my heart be still beating, first thought I had. Maybe yes, my gates where wide open with flood slowly taking it's phase on my imperfect facial features. I didn't want to cry, but my body did otherwise. It's true you know "To feel everything so deeply is a blessing and a curse". As if I could breathe.

Sometimes I wish, I just hope, people would keep their fucking chatty mouths to themselves. Give me a chance to breath, It hurts when every single souls preys on what's wrong with me, Why I won't speak up, Why I refused to smile at their lame joke, Why I won't punch my employee even when he picked on me, Why I won't hum along Tomlinsons Melody.

"I'm broken. Can't you see?"

I'm no machine my friends. Even they need oil alas I'm no machine that can be fixed. I'm a human, if you know. If only you knew, you would have treated me better.

I want to be a introvert. No one shows shit down their head. They have their fantasy happening in their head, treasured in memories, blissfully lost. If only I was one, I could  have been sad, felt the pain of loss. Be calm like Bhudda or like my siblings tell me "Resting bitch Bhudda face", my beautiful babies.

"Their comes a time, when the blind will tell. Can't you see?"

You all got me vomiting down on myself, dagger was removed one by one. I was bleeding. I was dieing out of pain, if only this was a dream. My baby boo-boo was stolen, my baby squirrel. So stop points your dirty fingers at me. Stop accusing me for being sad.

Time is what I ask for, time to heal. Then you came 'Heal' my baby cat, don't know why your mom left you in my bed. But I'll take care of you Heal. At least you won't push out answers of me to when I'm dead inside.

You can't tear me anymore, please stop asking questions.
I lost him.
But then I found you.
Can you fix me Heal? or are you too going to go away?

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Dedicated to boo-boo squrriel (Bhuvan) & Heal baby Cat, on 8th March 2018, Wednesday.

I'm hoping in continuing this, only if time permits me I guess. I'll update about Heal. Let the time speak now.