Back at Step One (COMPLETED)

71. Last

Para siyang Kuya Keith na may pagkaplayboy at pagkakalog ni Nico na may pagka seryoso ni Jake.

He was kind and brotherly, na laging may pakialam sa mga taong mahalaga sa kanya, pero hindi nawala dun yung pagkakulit niya na lagi mong hahanapin sa isang barkada, and at the same time, he never misses out on anything na kailanganin mo or gusto mo, at aasikasuhin ka niya, pampering you with what you want or may want.

Naging close na rin ako sa kanya kasi siya yung laging nandito, when Kuya Keith is busy with Courtney or Nico with Aya. He takes his time to hang out dito sa kwarto ni Jake para samahan ako. Seeing him like this.

He was just staring at his friend, though I knew he was staring at him with sad eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder kung parehas nga ba talaga kami. Did I look so sad? Or did I look worse?

I felt worse. I cannot even shed a tear, and I don’t know why.

Lumapit ako sa kanya, putting a hand on his shoulder. Tinignan niya ako and I smiled at him sadly, wrapping a hand sa bewang niya. His eyes asked me if I was okay. I could already read his thoughts. I told you we’re kindred spirits. I shook my head as an answer and gave him a sad smile. Just wraps his hand sa may balikat ko, pulling me close to kiss my hair.

It pained me to see them like this. And after all those months…

Naaalala ko silang apat na sobrang nakikipagkulitan kay Jake. Yung time na may sakit ako, at naglalaro sila ng basketball with Jethro. Sobrang saya nila noon, at alam kong kahit na medyo napipikon si Jake, masaya parin siya. Four years silang magkakasama, maybe even more. I don’t know how much this takes them.

Nandito rin sila Jenna, Jethro at Laiza, standing a bit behind us. Napalingon ako sa kanila, as the first one goes on me and hugs me, teary eyed. Yung dalawa naiwan sa may gilid, staring at the scene. Nakita ko si Laiza na naiiyak na din and I just bury myself sa akap ni Jenna.

It was kind of comforting.

Kind of dahil hindi ko na maalala yung pakiramdam ng salitang comfort. I smile, but I just do that just for them. Ayokong mahirapan sila ng sobra katulad ng nararamdaman ko.

 

“I’m sorry, Thea.” Sabi ni Jenna sa akin. “I’m so sorry.”

I smiled at her. “Don’t be.”

Bumitaw siya saka naman hinawakan din ako sa bewang, so I was sandwiched by her and Greg. Binalik ko yung tingin ko kay Jake. Kahit na alam kong hindi niya ako maririnig pag sasabihin ko, I still said it. 

This is your friends saying goodbye, Jake. May ilang oras ka pa para sabihing mali sila.

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I don’t know what was worse, seeing my cousins cry, or seeing them trying to be strong for me.

Ate Kate was sobbing habang nakakapit siya kay Kuya Rob, just hearing the news a few short hours before now. She had just gone from a photoshoot sa Coron with Kuya Rob. Si Miggy naiwan kanila Tita Olivia sa Ilocos habang wala sila and they have just heard the news today.

Kararating lang nila yun ang bumungad sa kanila.

Kuya Rob was in a word, miserable. He didn’t cry, he didn’t smile either. As in pokerfaced lang siya, but I could see the hurt and the agony in his eyes. Jake was his honorary little brother, and knowing that this was goodbye, it was too much.

Si Ninay at DJ nandun sa corner, both of their eyes red from crying overnight. Nakatulugan ng dalawang bata yung pag iyak, and now, Ninay’s eyes streaming salt water again habang nakatungo siya sa may sofa. DJ had his arm around her sisters, Ate Nic crying silently habang si Ate She was now just staring, no doubt tired from crying all night.