Castiel's Diary

Day 6

A

s I know Dean was looking for me this night. The whole bunker was a mess as we got in and when he found me laying in the entrance of the bunker in the little stairs, he seemed like he lost ten years of his life. He was sweat, red and worried, and when he saw me, he sighed relieved.

"What happened?" I asked rubbing my eyes. I was tired.

"What happened?" Dean repeated out of breath. "You disappeared you son of a bitch!" he yelled and I just kept staring at him confused of how angry he seemed and upset with the fact I sat outside for a little

That night, as usually, I had nightmares so I surprisingly decided I needed fresh air. So as Dean and Sam were sleeping, I moved to the door and laid to the stairs. I just sat there enjoying the starry sky. I had so long to admire how beautiful the night sky was if you were an observer from earth. I still couldn't sleep but it was sure that I could relax for a minute, and enjoy this like my old self would.

And then Dean rushed to my place. Dean explained that he eas worried I got hurt or run away. I was touched of how shit he was, thinking I run away. I was touched by his reaction.

"Had nightmares and thought to relax a bit staring at the sky" I explained and he smiled so wide at me thaf make me smile too after a long time. "That's a damn good step Cas" he said happy.

"Hope so" I answered and get lost in my thoughts again, looking at the sky. Then Dean did the most sweet thing he could do. He lift my head a bit that was resting in the step, and sat as he placed my head to his lap. Thay made me blush and feel good, like I used to.

Aftet a few moments of silence, both staring to the sky, I talked. "Dean, I miss home" I said nostalgic and saw Dean being freaked out.

"Heaven? But... Cas you were tortured there..."

"I know but I miss heaven like it was before. Not corrupted. It was the place that you could feel peace and happiness. Before God left" I sighed.

"Cas, you can find ten times more peace and happiness here. It's a lo g road to make it through that but you have me and we are gonna do this together. I already feel a piece of heaven having you" Dean said. One of the best things Dean ever said to me, that made me cry... Sometimes, in the right times is the most poetic person. 'Hopeless Romantic' as Dean says. What he said made me stand up and kiss him. Lately, I might wasn't in the mood to even look at Dean his words warmed my heart that moment.

"I am cold" I said but actually it was a bit different than what I meant. "I want to cuddle with you inside in the couch" I added and Dean helped me stand up and cuddled in front of tv the rest of the night, me being the 'little spoon' as Dean said. I don't know. I might feel better in the future, who knows.