The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality

My First Time Sexing A Girl

When I was 15 years old, I tried out for the Junior Girls’ Volleyball team and became co-captain with another girl. I had seen her around school but never dared to approach her, as she was in grade 11, a year ahead of me. Right away she seemed really cool, a truly honest and completely captivating person. Despite my awe of this older girl, she seemed to like me as a person, too.

Over the volleyball season, we became closer and talked about all sorts of crazy stuff, like being attracted to another girl. The thought had never really crossed my mind but she was always totally blunt about her feelings and slowly I realized that our cute little mind games were actually HARD-CORE FLIRTING!

She was going out with the high school basketball star at the time and was therefore involved. Her interest in him existed on nothing more than a sexual level. As a crazy bold move, out of pure curiosity and frustration, I wrote her a letter expressing everything she made me feel: the butterflies in my stomach, wanting to touch her face, the uncontrollable smiles we sported in each other’s presence, and the intense conversations we held with our eyes.

She read all of my emotions in the letter in front of me and gave me a look to die for once she finished reading. We sat up with candles in her sister’s room and didn’t touch, but talked about the entire flirting process. Unfortunately it was a school night, so I left for my house at about 11:30 p.m. I literally skipped through the slushy February streets, laughing out loud. When I got home I was soaked up to my waist.

Our volleyball team kept winning (led by two very close captains) and somehow our curiosity turned into a relationship. On Valentine’s Day, she was supposed to go out with the basketball player but in the end she came over to my house for a sleepover! I didn’t really think about sex until we got into our pajamas. I had a waterbed at the time (which seems even more hilarious now) and as I recall, two people in it sort of rolled together into the centre.

After a long day, the best thing you can do for a hardworking volleyball player is give her a massage. She offered her services and I obviously complied. When I returned the favor, she pulled the back of her shirt over her head, completely exposing her back to me. At the time, the only coherent thought I remember having was,“Woah.”

This girl had a very nice back and being so bold, I leaned down to kiss it and continued to do so until she pulled her shirt down and turned around to face me. I kissed her face all over, avoiding her lips until she moved her lips into the path of mine.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M KISSING A GIRL!!!!!!!

We were both really into the moment and didn’t really stop to question anything. The sexual intensity continued to heighten until I realized,“Oh, so this is what two girls do together ... hmmm ....”

I had my first orgasm on Valentine’s Day and was so blown away by the experience that I grabbed my asthma inhaler immediately afterwards.“Are you okay?” she exclaimed. She dumped the jock a few days later and I was very pleased.

It was a total blast. I don’t remember feeling scared or nervous in a negative way at all. The only change I would’ve made would be to ask, “Uh, do you have any STIs?” before we slept together.
I was very lucky, I had a really positive first same-sex experience that continued into a six-month relationship, until she moved away that summer for a year.

Now, almost three years later, we aren’t screwing, but she’s one of my best friends and we maintain a unique connection I feel we won’t lose.

We used to joke about our chance encounter in each other’s lives when we could have just as easily ended up sleeping with some older dyke living with five cats. The most important part of the whole situation was that we both felt so good and comfortable together that any sort of apprehension was turned into positive anticipation.

Many young women have truly negative first experiences with other girls—at a party on a dare from some horny teenage boy or with someone a lot older than them.

I can only tell my tale and encourage young women to write scandalous letters and flirt with the basketball star’s girlfriend and ask those shocking questions! Be sure of your motives and when you track down that cute girl you wanna smooch, make sure you’re both completely comfortable. Other than that, have fun, and be careful if you have asthma.

Anonymous, 18