Dysfunction (Discontinued)

Realizing pt.1 ( New Chapter)

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Trigger warning: themes in this chapter involve gore and simulations alluding to suicidal attempts and tendencies. Read at your own discretion. This is the final dark themed chapter. Hurray, you made it.

Be sure to read realizing pt.2 after this
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Erik and I were approaching our last week of the hydro therapy sessions. In the second week of therapy it had gotten very heavy. I finally learned the story of Erik's racist foster care guardians who withheld food when the children disobeyed and then proceeded to lock them in basements as time outs. They were being groomed into "respectable" blacks and were shown off to other friends during parties like pets. It was very sick but it didn't shake me like the gang initiation. Aside from the foster care horror stories, his " Off the grid " memories were god awful. I never fully understood what he did when he went black ops but I surely did now.

Erik had done some inexcusable things to a lot of people—to a lot of innocent people. After that projection it was hard for him to look me in the eye afterwards. It was clear he was ashamed but I kept my thoughts to myself. It wouldn't change anything to let him know just how frightening he could be...when he wanted to be. I'm sure he already knew that. I also got a peek into what he did in that gang as he neared college age. He had stayed in that gang up until senior year. Erik worked his way up through the ranks mostly being bait and the guinea pig for the older men to get things done. He was small which meant he could fit into places and most people overlooked him because he was a kid.  It was for that reason, most of his assignments were successful. As he got older his jobs became more intense and as he became a young man, he turned into the muscle in the group. He was the brute force, the one who did it first and asked questions later. They used Erik like an attack dog and he certainly didn't seem to mind it either. It wasn't until one night that the group had insisted on assaulting a woman in Erik's presence that caused him to snap. He killed the entire group (which was a group of about 5 people ) that night and thankfully the woman got away. He laid low and went to college soon after leaving it all behind. How he got away with it ? It had to have been his ancestors watching over him. Now I understood why he didn't go back to Oakland or Compton. What stood out to me the most was Erik's antihero trope. He'd done good and bad and it was like he was in a constant battle of trying to find balance within himself. He didn't know if he was the good guy or bad guy. More often then not he leaned towards bad because that's what was comfortable but he had morals. No matter how much he didn't admit it...he had a heart and he had morals. He just didn't always use them, which was so frustrating.

As for me, my projections were also mostly foster care based. The machine projected the time I pit pocketed a man and was nearly shot because of it. The projection also showed the time I was assaulted by being dragged out of a car. I was caught up again with another bad boy who I had started talking to after Erik left for the navy. I was stalked by some boys on campus after Erik left for the navy. That situation was linked to the incident that changed me forever— the car dragging. Erik raised hell when he came back and found out what happened. All in all everything was just bad. I was tired of being reminded of triggering events. I was so happy when we finally got to our last session. I was ready to move on and things were starting to pick up with Ade. We had plans on our first date at the end of the day. Admittedly I had pushed it off but I folded and said yes.

I pulled my car up to the palace and let myself inside. As I walked around the corner I approached Erik who had his back turned to me. He was speaking to a man dressed up in a certain uniform that I had seen around here before. The man had many different sashes on him but what stuck out most was the long blue piece of fabric draped over his left shoulder. I actually thought it looked pretty cool.