Prisoner

EPILOGUE

   I lean over the straighten out the sheets in the cot. Leo reaches out, gurgling as he grasps for my finger. "Oh honey, go to sleep." I murmur.

"Da...da..." Leo slurs before bursting into hiccups of laughter. "Daddy is in the shower." I smile, stroking his plump cheek gently.

   I don't think Ethan has left me yet. I see him all around me, especially Leo. He's a spitting image of Ethan. He has the same eyes, the same nose, the same smile.

"Da...da..." Leo repeats, this time he's staring over my shoulder with his large curious eyes. I turn around, there's no one behind me. "Da...da..." Leo pulls a finger from his mouth and points towards the empty doorway behind me.

   Like I said, I don't think Ethan has left me yet.

"Okay honey, Dada wants you to sleep. Am I right?" I might or might not be asking Ethan.

   Leo giggles and slowly his eyelids start to drift shut. It takes a few more minutes before he sleeps, breathing slowly through the tiny bow of his mouth.

   I sigh, straightening up and surveying the room. "Keep him safe." I say to absolutely no one at all.

   I thread towards my room, exhausted.

   Grayson exits the bathroom, locks of wet hair plastered to his forehead and a towel around his waist, tugging me towards him.

"I'm living that college student life." I lean into his chest, warm and slick from the water. "Will Chinese takeout heal your wounded student soul?" Gray presses his lips against the crook of my neck.

"You know me so well." I push away and pull my shirt over my head, heading for the bathroom. It's 9 at night and I still have an assignment due tomorrow.

I relax when the stream of hot water hits my back and steam clouds the room. I duck under the shower, feeling the water run off my back.

It's been two years since I lost Ethan. And in these two years I've given birth to Leo, fell in love with Grayson. A lot has happened. Now I'm twenty and balancing the duties of a mother and a college student.

Falling in love with Grayson was just as unpredictable as it was predictable. It seemed that since I knew I carried a child, Ethan did everything in his capacity to bring me together with someone. And that someone happened to be Grayson.

How else can I explain when Grayson came knocking on my door one morning while I was filling in college applications. I was stunned, for a moment, it was like looking at Ethan straight in the face again.

I found Grayson's contact saved in my phone, something I never did. And I found a text I sent to Grayson, giving him my address and asking for a meet up, which I also never did.

And I knew then and there, it was the will of Ethan.

I hung out with Gray initially because I knew it was what Ethan wanted. And slowly, I saw how he cared and I fell for that.

He was the first person I called in the middle of the night when I found out I got into the college of my choice. He was the one who held my hand and told me that everything was alright when I was rushed to the hospital after my water broke.

He was the one who held Leo like a father.

Grayson was the only one who filled that void in my heart after I lost Ethan.

I love Ethan and Grayson with different loves, but equally.

I live now in an LA apartment with Gray, it's a convenient place because he has a social media personality.

It was Ethan's dream job.

I step out of the shower, drying off and struggling to clasp my bra. I get clean clothes on and make my way towards the living room.

Gray eats out of the takeout carton, flipping through channel on the television. I climb onto the couch and pull my laptop towards myself.

"What are you working on?" Gray hooks his chin over my shoulder. "An essay," I pull up the document and scan the title: Discuss the nature of Death Sentence.

My breath hitches. I shouldn't have joined fucking law school.

"Oh, that's..." Grayson winces.

"I'm not doing this paper." I shut the laptop.

"And your excuse is...?" Gray raises his eyebrow.

"I'm a biased party, having had contact and a personal relationship with someone who succumbed to the nature of Death Sentencing itself. I'm unable to provide a fair opinion on the subject, hence I believe I'm unqualified to turn in this paper."

"I'm just gonna pretend I understood your lawyer talk," Grayson shrugs and slides an arm over my shoulder, "let's just watch the Walking Dead or something."

"My mother instincts tell me that Leo is going to cry really soon." I slip my cold toes under Grayson's sweatshirt. And as if on cue, he starts wailing.

"I'll go," Grayson starts to stand up but I pull him back down. "No, I'll go." I shove him back onto the couch. He turns back to the television while I walk down the hallway.

The light in Leo's room comes on.

I hear Leo's cries ebb away slowly.

I hold my breath as I walk into the room. Leo's sheets are pulled tighter and there's a pacifier in his mouth.

The light switch flips itself and the room plunges back into darkness.

And I know for sure that Ethan hasn't left me yet.