Finding Me - Book 4

"Uh No."

"You don't sound so sure about that my friend."

Sighing I stop walking and face her," Maggie I swear to god if you tell her I'll kill you."

"Hey secrets safe with me, but if Vince finds out I don't know." She shrugs at the end.

I shake my head," no if he finds out he can't say anything either. You gotta promise me you'll get him to shut it."

"Why don't you just tell her?" She asks.

My eyes widen," are you insane, I'll get rejected for sure."

"You don't know that."

I cross my arms," is she even gay?"

Maggie pauses and thinks," honestly I don't know, I haven't see her date or show too much interest in anyone since she's been here."

"Right so my chances are even slimmer than I thought," sighing I say," hopefully I'll get over it."

With that I turn and walk into the building and over to my class.

Soon everyone files in and Joy sits," hey roomie." She greets beside me.

"Hi." I say, my voice low as I stare ahead at the board, my chin in my hands.

Leaning forward she looks at me," you okay man?"

"Yeah I'm good." I say smiling softly and focusing on the teacher.

***

My other classes fly by and lunch rolls around. After waiting in line I get a chicken salad and a clear fruit. It's a spring chicken salad so it has strawberries and stuff in it, which personally I think is great.

I sit down and eat, my friends joining me.

"Sooo Mr.Rose says we're having a field trip tomorrow to the observatory and planetarium." Maggie tells us.

Vincent smiles," sweet I love the planetarium, lookin at all the stars in the safety of a dome."

"Why go to the planetarium when I can see all the stars right here in Emerson's eyes." Jasmine says shoulder bumping mine.

For the second time today a blush creeps on to my cheeks and I look down at my salad.

Maggie winks at me and Vincent smiles and fist daps her.

I sip my drink and look at Maggie who's grinning.

"That was so sweet of you to say Jasmine." Maggie says.

Jasmine just smiles and lies her head on my shoulder.

We talk for a few more minutes before cleaning up and leaving. As we walk Jasmine loops her arm through mine and lies her head on my shoulder again.

It's moments like this where I wonder if she's into me too. And today has been especially confusing for me.

With all the flirting and closeness I can't help but think she likes me.

But she probably doesn't. Then I remember why I came here: people found out I'm gay and tortured me. I'm definitely not willing to risk going through that again over a crush.

Maybe Jasmine's worth it.

"You okay Em?" She asks me as we get in class," you've been awfully quiet all day."

I nod and sit down.

I guess my silent nod wasn't enough answer for her because she proceeds to ask," you sure?"

Another nod.

"Does it have anything to do with what happened at breakfast, or lunch?"

My heart races at the memory. Truthfully my mind has been reeling since breakfast. I really wish she was serious about her flirting and stuff but wishes don't come true, not for me at least.