Lifeguard Jeon

° T W E N T Y °

"So you like working at the hospital?" Jin asks.

"It's fun to be with the kids," I answer, surprising myself.

"You look happier." he looks at Irene, who pretends not to notice.

While Jin is cooking, I look at the clock. "What time is dinner?"

"An hour or so."

"Can I go for a swim?"

"As long as the lifeguard is still on," Irene says.

° ° ° ° °

He's not in his chair when I get there, but he's probably just somewhere on the beach because he's still supposed to be on duty. My arms are stronger now and I can go farther without getting winded. The sun is lower and the water fells cooler. I swim out past where the waves break, lying back and watching the light in the late afternoon sky. When I'm finally ready to turn and go back, I hear something in the water.

For no reason, I swim out farther and farther. I'm afraid to turn around, only I'm not sure why. My breathing gets faster, my head pounds. What is it? What could it be?

The sound gets closer and then smack, my head slams something hard. I looked up startled.

I turn and then I see what's come up next to me.

A fast-moving surfboard.

He's stretched out, naked from the waist up. He glides up alongside me, like a submarine that has silently risen to the surface.

I keep going.

"Time to get out," he says, finally.

"What?"

He turns the board suddenly, cutting in front of me. "Look how far out you are. You can't make it back on your own."

"How do you know?" Irritation creeps into my voice. I'm short of breath, but I try to hide it.

"Get on the board, Suzy. I don't want to have to pull you out." He pushes up to a sitting position, his legs hugging the board. There's room behind him now, only I don't know how to hoist myself up, or even if I can.

Before I can ask, he holds his hand out to me. "Here."

I grab his hand and he pulls me closer. I press down on the board with my hands raising myself high enough to swing a leg over and climb on. I breathe hard, trying to catch my breath. He shoots me a look of annoyance.

I was farther out than I thought. What if he hadn't been there? He leans forward and paddles with his hands as my eyes follow the fluid movements of his shoulder muscles under his smooth skin. We glide through the water without talking. Silence doesn't seem to bother him, but I feel the need to say something, anything, so he thinks I'm at ease and this is totally no big deal. But small talks eludes me. My mind empty.

His nearness alters my brain waves, the rhythm of my heart. my body downshifts from thinking to feeling . . . to longing.

I'm powerless, hard-wired to react only to him, like a helpless victim of my blood chemistry.

Can he sense it?

he doesn't speak, but his presence does. his radar is everywhere, watching the beach in front of him, sensing me and everything around us. I draw energy from him as if it passes through his skin to mine, taking me to a more vivid dimension of feeling, being, and knowing.

When we get close to where the waves break, he tilts his head back.

"Hold on."

He reaches back, his hand momentarily grazing my thigh. I lean into him, my arms tighten around his waist as the waves bounce us up and down, dousing my heat with their cool spray. We're skin-to-skin, two bodies melded together as one. I've forgotten about swimming out too far, or what I should have known. Everything is right now.

I don't want this to end. 

I want to stay where I am with him, in the water, forever.

"I've never been on a board before," I whispers. "It's fun."

He glances back at me and a bunny-like smile crosses his face. He stops paddling and we sit as the waves carry us up and shoot us down, again and again, each time propelling me against him.

We're connected now.

And I'm in overdrive. Is this sane?

"I used to be afraid of the water." Why did I tell him?

"And now?"

"Not anymore."

"You should be."

I didn't expect that answer, not from him. "Are you?"

"It's more awe than fear. It's the power that draws me. But it's an unfair contest."

"Ocean worship? It sounds like a religion."

"Yes," he says with smile. "The water is my god."

Then I want to enter your church.

But I don't say that.

° ° ° ° °

We sit there together and time passes. Seconds? Minutes? I can't tell. I'm a giddy kid on a rocket ship ride, thrusting forward and back, up and down with the waves, until our precious time together runs out. How much longer do we have left, just the two of us, in our water world apart from the shore?

My lips nearly touch the back of his neck. His hair blows back, against my face, covering my eyes. I'm blind to everything but him, I cling to his waist inhaling his warm coconut scent, my breath coming faster and harder than it should. Is this what love feels like? How can he not sense my aching attraction, the sweet, intoxicating chemistry, the way the air is ignited between us.

I exhale against him in total surrender. He doesn't bruise, but does he shiver? Does he feel? Respond? I have to know, only what do I ask? As if in answer, he arches back against me, his cheek grazing mine.

"Suzy," he whispers.