Like Broken Glass

Chapter 7

The blood pounding in his head got louder. He was swimming. Swimming in an ocean and was being pulled under. His lungs were on fire. Darkness was seeping into his vision. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe. He just couldn't. He tried to calm himself down but everything was just too much. He was useless. He was a waste of space. He was a burden. And he knew it would only be a matter of time before his new family realised that and sent him packing. Jack could hear his shallow breathing, hear his pulse beating rapidly.

Then out of nowhere, a soft voice came through, echoing around the noise.

"Jack" it seemed to whisper.

"Jack, jack!"

"I need you to breathe, 1,2,3 and out. Come on buddy, breathe with me"

And Jack didn't know who it was, but recognised that this voice was guiding him back to sanity and drawing him from out of the water and back into the light. So he focused on the voice. He copied the breathing and followed the counts. Eventually his breathing levelled out again and he looked around him. Sat next to him was Conor, staring at him with concern in his eyes.

"I'm sorry" Jack whispered.

"For what?" Conor asked, confused.

"For freaking out. For ruining your dinner. For just... being here"

"Jack, hey Jack look at me. You haven't ruined anything. No ones annoyed, we're just worried. Maybe we've been overwhelming you. Of course you're a bit on edge, you've only just moved in for God's sake. So if you need time to yourself, that's ok. We understand Jack. You're not a burden to anybody, alright?" Conor said, eyes never leaving Jacks for one second.

"O-ok" Jack sighed, letting out a deep breath.

"Now, how about we go and get some food? I don't know about you but I'm absolutely starving" Conor laugher, pushing himself up.

Jacks smile faltered, he couldn't eat. He couldn't afford it here. He felt the panic setting back in.

"Hey hey calm down. You remember what I said right?"

Jack nodded, focusing on breathing.

"What's wrong Jack? Why won't you eat? Don't you like the food here?"

"No no it's not that it's just. It's just I can't- I can't afford it" he mumbled.

"What? What do you mean you can't afford it?" Conor asked, confusion spreading across his face.

"It's too nice here, I don't have the money to pay your parents back"

"Jack is, is that really what you thought you had to do? You honestly thought you had to pay for your own meals?"

"Well yes, of course?" Jack replied, completely confused.

"Of course you don't have to pay! You don't pay for anything at all Jack. That's what parents do. They feed you and love you unconditionally. I know it might not have always been like that for you, but my parents, yours too if you want them to be, will provide you with whatever you need. Don't ever feel like you're indebted to them in anyway, ok? You're here because you're wanted and we want to look after you"

Jack wanted to cry. He'd never had such kind words spoken to him ever. People actually wanted him. Someone wanted to love him for who he was. He couldn't believe it. This family was so kind, so generous. And he got a chance to be happy. He was being taken care of. Was this- was this love? Is this what it felt like to have parents? Jack smiled. A genuine smile. One that hadn't lighted his face in a long long time.

"Thank you" he whispered to Conor, not only for the kind words, but for the acceptance and love he was offering Jack.

"It's ok Jack, now, come on let's go get some food. Anna will tell you all about what tastes good I'm sure" he said laughing, as he opened the door. Jack stood up and followed him out, heart open to new opportunities. This could be the start. This could be the start of something good.