FEELS •shawn mendes•

feels •shawn mendes• ch. 24

I don't realize how hard I'm crying till I see the tear stains on the notebook. I smile a little to myself as I picture shawn hugging me, telling me he loves me, now realizing how truly special those words are.

ME: hey, mendes. hoping your flight got in safe❤️ love you so much. miss you already

I put my phone down and sit in silence for a few minutes, using all my self control to not turn the next page.

My phone pings with a text message.

SHAWN: flight was good. I'll call you soon. Just gotta get to the hotel and meet with the manager.

That's it. No 'I love you', no 'I miss you'.

Stop it, Aubrey. He's barely been gone.

I look over to the picture i have of the two of us on my dresser. When we went to dinner, I had the hostess take a picture of us. Shawns arm is around my waist, and he's smiling into the camera. I'm turned towards him a little looking up into his eyes, and we both look genuinely happy. 

I smile and take in every aspect of the picture. It's the first time we felt completely comfortable around one another.

My heart hurts a little as I remember the whole incident with Miranda.

God, I hope she doesn't mess things up for us. I know shawn loves me, so why am I scared?

A few minutes later my mom calls me downstairs.

"You have a visitor!!" She yells up the stairs.

Hesitantly i close the notebook and put it in my bottom dresser drawer, along with the picture of shawn.

"Who is it?" I ask her.

"Tatum! She came by to say hi. She says she needs to talk to you, so why don't you come downstairs?" My mom says, sounding irritated.

"Oh, uh. I'll be right down." I say back, my hands shaking a little at the thought of talking to her face to face.

...

"Hey." She says, looking at me once before looking down at her feet.

"Do you maybe wanna talk in my room?" I ask her, rocking back and forth on my feet.

"Sure." She follows me up the stairs, and the second we get in my room we both blurt out:

"I'm sorry."

I laugh a little.

"Tate, what on earth do you have to be sorry for?"

"I wasn't there for you, Aubrey. I didn't support you. And I should have."

"It's not your fault. I should have known you'd understand. I was just scared because I've always acted like I hated him but I really don't." My eyes well up with tears.

"I 100% support the decision you made not to tell us, and I support you still. How long has it been again?" She sits down on my bed and pats the space next to her.

"A couple months." I tell her, and she smiles.

"Now that I think about it, you guys look good together."

I lean over and give tatum a hug.

"I missed you." I tell her, and she says it back.

"So, wheres shawn? I was thinking we could all hang out, and I would bring this guy I met a few days ago."

I hesitate before telling her. She'll still support us no matter what, so why am I scared?

"Hes in Los Angeles writing an album." I say , and her eyes get wide.