Temptation (Larry Stylinson) ✅

17. Plans

"Haz!" Niall called. It was Friday morning -- nearly 9:30am now and Harry still wasn't up yet for his 10am class. "Are you going to class?" he whispered, tapping Harry lightly on the shoulder. 

Harry immediately jolted, his eyes popping open as he felt Niall touch him. "Yeah, I'm up, I'm up," he stammered. Last night had been so wild he had forgotten to set an alarm. 

Last night. 

Fuck. Harry felt a wave of nausea as he made his way out of bed and towards his dressers--and he wasn't sure if it was excitement or anxiety that was making him queasy. He should be excited, right? He finally got with a guy -- and he LIKED it. He was finally certain that he was bi. It was a life milestone, really. 

But he also felt guilty for some reason. Guilty that it hadn't been with Louis. Guilty that it happened so fast -- that he had been so easy. Guilty that maybe he made a mistake. 

Harry felt his vision go blurry and reached onto the dresser for support, his breathing quickening and his muscles going limp. 

"Mate, are you okay?" Niall asked, worriedly, watching his roommate start to fall. 

Harry was shaking now, nearly hyperventilating. The more he tried to breathe normally, the more abnormal his breathing became. He had dominated last night in the bedroom, but now he was completely helpless, out of control. 

"Fuck," Harry wheezed. "I ... Think... I'm having.... eh.. um... panic attack..."

Niall's eyes widened and he stared at Harry, unsure what to do. "Should I call public safety, then?" he asked, helping Harry to the bed. He put a hand under his armpit and walked him over. 

 Harry shook his head, reaching for a water bottle with a shaky hand. His eyes were tearing now and he sat on the bed, nausea racking his body for a second time. Wordlessly, he rose from the bed, stumbling into the kitchen and vomiting into the sink. It felt like the post-Everclear hangover, but more intense and without any of the humor. 

Niall followed him into the bathroom, patting him on the back and handing him a water. Harry's face was red, but he was breathing better now and took a seat on the toilet seat, resting his face in his palms. 

Niall kneeled down next to him, stroking his back softly. "Are you alright?" he asked softly. He was still in just his boxers, as he was in the process of changing when Harry started panicking. 

"Yeah," Harry nodded, taking a sip of the water. His green eyes were still watering, but Niall tried not to draw attention to it. He was probably just emotional after such an unpleasant experience. 

"I haven't had one in years... I don't know. I just got triggered," Harry explained to Niall, running a hand through his sweaty locks. 

"What triggered you? Was it me?" Niall asked, confused. All Harry had done was get out of bed and then it happened.

"No... I..." Harry began to turn pale, shaking his head shamefully. "I don't feel okay about last night. With Greg. I feel so good knowing that I've done it. I've experimented and I really do understand my sexuality now. But it's so overwhelming...  like... there's no questions now... and it really is probable I may end up with a man, and I don't know if that's what I really want... what I need.... and on top of that, I saw Louis last night. He was Greg's neighbor of all things... I feel guilty for giving up my virginity -- well anal virginity -- so quickly. For this guy I hardly know... when I wanted to get to know Louis..."

Niall nodded, rubbing Harry's shoulder gently with his slow hands. "It's okay, mate. It's tough, it's a confusing time," he replied. 

Harry nodded, locking eyes with Niall and biting his lip. It was a confusing time. He was so confused about so many things -- where he stood with Louis, where he stood with Greg, how he was doing at the university, what he wanted to do after he graduated next year. It was all too much, too fast, too intense.