The Evil Cat Lady Has Horrible Jokes

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Suddenly, they stumble upon large building in a clearing.  It proclaims that its name is “CYBER-TECH” in large, gaudy letter, with signs around it warning, “No trespassing,” “Keep out,” and “Beware of cats.”  On the front door, written in large letters, it states, “LINDSAYE’S HIDEOUT.  DO NOT ENTER.”

“Very subtle. You sure we are in the right place?” Dakota asks Maddie sarcastically.

“We should go in the back entrance,” S says, surprising the girls by talking for the first time.  Everyone gasps at the sound of her perfect, melodic voice, including Andrew and Evan, even though they already know what her voice sounds like.  Everyone agrees with her sound wisdom, and they quietly walk around to the back.  Andrew tries the door.

“It’s locked,” he announces, jostling the grimy doorknob.  S pushes him aside.

“Allow me.”  S kicks the thick metal door open and hurries everyone inside, into the pitch darkness, and closes the door behind them.

“What happened to the lights?” Maddie asks.  Just then, they hear a hissing noise emanating from the black depths of the room.  “What’s that?” she asks, whipping her head around, trying to get a glimpse of anything in the darkness.

Suddenly, Dakota yawns, and a realization hits S.  “Sleeping Gas!  Everyone, out!  Now!”  They rush back to the door, but don’t make it before they all topple to the ground, passed out.

***

Maddie groans as she starts to wake up.  Pain flashes through her head, throwing her back down to the ground.   Slowly, carefully, she opens her eyes and looks around at her new surroundings.  She’s in a cell.  A jail cell.  Andrew and S are awake besides her, peering out the metal bars.  Dakota is just starting to stir from her sleep, and Evan is still out cold.

“Where are we?” Maddie whispers, panicked.  S puts her finger to her mouth to hush her.

“The lair,” she mouths back.  Creatures with red, leering eyes surround their cage, an occasional meow adding to their menacing glares.  Cats.  Both Maddie and S hate cats.

“How do we get out?” Maddie whispers, quieter than before.  S and Andrew look around dejectedly.  They remain silent, unable to answer the question.  Dakota gets up and tries waking up Evan, but he is in an almost comatose-like state, drool slowly leaking out of his gaping mouth.

***

“Well, well, well.  Look what the cat dragged in.”  A light turn on, revealing Lindsaye sitting in an ornate armchair, creepily stroking a black cat, creating a cloud of cat hair that seems to be magnetically attracted to her clothing.  “Looks like you’re cat out of luck.”

“Lindsaye,” Andrew growls.  She gives an evil chuckle in response, her cats adding their own little maniacal laughs.  The sound of a thousand devilish felines booms throughout the room.

“Andrew.  Oh, how I’ve missed you so, darling.”  She laughs again, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  Andrew glares back.  “You know, it’s funny.  I was just talking about you!  You know, how worthless you are.  How you’ll never discover my plans.  How you’ll never stop us, no matter what you do.”  She indulges in another laugh, enjoying every second.

“What are you planning?  What are you up to?!” he yells.  She grins evilly.

“What a catty response.”

“We will stop you,” he rumbles.

During this exchange, Maddie stares at her mother, horrified.  Never has she ever thought that this is how they would meet.  How could someone so terrible be related to her?  

“My plans can’t be stopped.  Not by people like you,” Lindsaye replies, a smirk on her face.

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