Lost and Found

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~~~Emily~~~

I lost my best friend today. My savior. My mentor. the only one who ever truly understood me and still accepted me for who i truly am. I lost her today at 10:22 pm when she was blind sided by a drunk driver and killed on impact. In that very instant, the driver took my whole world from me. Now shes gone. Lost and never to be found again. I miss her so much and she has even been absent from my life for a large amount of time. i feel like a gigantic peice of my heart broke off and is floating around in my body, poking my insides afflicting more pain and hurt with every moment. Its not fair. She didnt deserve this. She was an amazing kind hearted person and didnt deserve to die so young. i never even got to say goodbye, or tell her how much she meant to me. Now she wll never now exactally how much i love her.

I hear my phone vibrate from across the room.

Reluctantly, i rose from my bed, and walked to my phone. I am sick and tired of recieving all these text messages and phone calls from long lost cousin Betsy, aunt whats-her-face, all those people i have seen maybe once in my entire life and never bothered to learn their name because i didnt care, acting like they care about me and my loss.

"Oh Vanessa, I am soooo sorry for your loss!"

No you aren't. If you were really that sorry you would do more than send a losy text. Next.

"Im very sorry for your loss. She is with you in spirit and will always hold a special place in your heart."

Oh dont give me that "shes with you in spirit" crap. Im not five anymore, i know she isnt here. Next.

"I know its hard girl but hang in there. Im here if you need to talk."

Hey thanks! wait who are you again? Oh thats right youre my cousins nephews grandmas niece Lucy! When i need to talk dont worry you will be the first person i call! Like really? i dont plan on venting to a complete stranger.

This message was from one of my best friends Kayla. usually just seeing her name light up on my phone would cause me to perk up and a send a smile across my face from ear to ear. this time was different though. her message frustrated me and downright pissed my off. Kayla knew how much this loss was affecting me and all she did was send a measly text message, i could feel my fists clench with anger, my blood boil in my vein, my face turn red as a tomato and my body start to sweat like an ape. infuriated, i threw myself down on my bed, screaming and kicking my bed as if i were a murdering trying in an earnest attempt to kill me. I knew i was acting like a spoiled child throwing a temper tantum, but i felt entitled to acting this way after all that had happened in the last day.

i was feeling like a child at a supermarket who was seperated from his mommy. That little kid who was expierencing a mix of emotions; confusion, fear, sadness, regret, and aloneness. All he wants is to be back in his mommys ars where nothing and no one could harm him. the happy part of the story is that the kid always finds his mommy again and regains the feeling of saftey he was so dredfully missing. Unfortunately for me, i cant get my mommy back, she isnt coming back because the drunk driver took her away from me forever. just like the little kid, all i want is my mommy back but i know its not possible.