Lost and Found

Chapter 6: Part 2

Hi everyone! Second part of the chapters up now :) im really excited to hear feedback so you know what to do... leave comments below! :)

There is gunna be point of view changes so be careful of those! We are gunna hear a little bit of jason but mostly vanessa.

Once again BANNERS/COVERS are needed. Plllleeeeeaaasssseeeee feel free to make one if you have time!

Okie dokie! Thats it for now. Enjoy!

Xoxo

Emily :)

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JASONS POINT OF VIEW

I have never wanted a girl before like i want vanessa now. There was something about her that was special and different then other girls. Usually i could just snap my fingers and turn on my cocky boy charm and have girls on their knees drooling for me. It was a nice comfort to have girls falling all over you and doing whatever you want them to for you. But it got annoying sometimes because all the girls wanted me, even the ones i didnt even want to be around.

Then there was vanessa who wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. I dont think she realizes the effect she has on me and half the school. She was absolutely irresistable. Her body was banging and i have fanstasies about what i would do if i ever got her in bed. I highly doubt that would happen though because she was so recluse and cold. She took hits at my confidence which made me want her even more. I was up for the challenge though.

We were so close i could feel her body heat and almost taste her mouth on mine. I felt her soft warm breath tickle across my lips and i had to breathe deeply to keep my little friend downstairs where he was supposed to be. I didnt plan on scaring her away this early on. I barely knew her but i wanted to get to know her more and i didnt want to blow my chance of exploring her mouth with my tongue. Apparently though she didnt want. Vanessa pulled her lips back at the last second making me release a moan of pain. Damn this girl thought she was funny. I was just about to smirk at her and pull her back to me to devourer her lips when i saw the look in her eyes.

She was in pain and hurt i could tell. Something inside of her was tearing at her heart and causing her to lose confidence and the spunk she just had. Her soft blue eyes looked so vunerable and innocent i was curious what happened making her so exposed and scared. I stepped back not wanting to see that look in her eyes anymore. It hurt me too much.

"I...im sorry." She shuttered her whole body shaking with fear. Before i even got a chance to respond, she was long gone leaving me in the hallway alone and confused. I needed to figure out what pained her so much.

VANESSAS POINT IF VIEW

I went straight home not bothering with the rest of my classes that day because i felt to guilty and heartbroken to do anything but cry, and thats exactly what i did. I went home and calapsed on my bed sobbing hysetically wishing for a way out.

I felt horrible about letting my mom down. Her angel from heaven was looking down on me cringing at the embarrassment of a daughter she had created. I was a slut. A no good whore who didnt deserve to live while good people in heaven looked down on my wondering why they died and i lived. I asked myself the same question over and over for hours.

'Why God did you take good people from the earth and leave the bad ones? People like me dont deserve so why are you keeping us here?'

I felt suicidial again and i had thought i rid that feeling years ago after my incident. That was another thing eating me alive. Why was i getting so close to a guy i barely knew? I promised myself four years ago after that horrible scarring day that i would never get close to any guy ever again and here i was throwing myself over one of the biggest players in our grade. I never wanted to be used and abandonded like i was back then ever again. It was the worst feeling in my life and i refused to allow myself into that pain again.

There was another part of me though that felt guilty. Guilty for making jason feel like i wanted him and leading him on only to turn around and run away. But i couldnt help feeling that someone like jason wouldnt even want a girl like me so i was saving us both a headache later on.

I was tired of thinking and all i wanted more than anything was to sleep off all the confusion and sort it out at another time. Thankfully i drifted off quick enough.

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I woke up this morning and being it was the weekend i had plenty of time to think over what i was going to do about the whole jason situation.

I decided that i didnt want him anywhere near me because it just caused too much pain and brought back too many hurtful memories that took so long to push away. He deserved the decenty of an explanation though instead of completely blocking him out and pretending we didnt know each other. I wanted to get it over with soon though so i coukd move o nand stop dwellin gon this whole stupid accident.

'Hey. I want to talk to you. Can you meet me somewhere?' I sent him almost hoping he would say no so i could completely forget about him.

'Hey ness. Yeah we can talk is something wrong?' He sent back causing me to smile at his sweetness before i realized i was suppose to block him out. I replayed in my mind over and over again until it stuck. 'Hes just using you. Thats what guys do.' Yeah, that sounded about right.

'Im fine i just wanna talk. Meet me at the park in 20?' I typed back trying not to show any emotions

'Yeah thats fine. See you then ness ;)'

Hes just using you. Thats what guys do.

I throw on a sweatshirt, basketball shorts and my black ugg boots. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and slipped on a black headband to hold back the stray peices. I grabbed my phone and a twenty dollar bill because i was starving and was planning on stopping to get food.

"Im going out. Ill be back in an hour!" I yelled letting my dad know where i was headed before realizing i was the only one home. I felt embarassed but just shrugged it off and laughed at myself.

It was a nice day and i soon regreted wearing my sweatshirt. It was that time of year right at the beginning of spring when the air was humid from all the rain this time of year brought. I didnt mind the rain though, i actually loved the rain. There was something calming about it and i could just listen to it for hoirs without getting bored.

"He ness." Jason called standing in front if me.

I swallowed the guilt that i knew was forming and built up the courage to say no to such a pretty boy. I gave him a small smile as i walked over to him.

"You look nice." He said smirking at me. Stay strong, hes just using you, i thought to myself.

When i didnt answer he moved on "so you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah." I answered smally before clearing my throat and continuing. "I dont think we should talk anymore."

"What?" Jason answered looking shocked and hurt.

"I just dont think we should." I restated it trying to avoid the hurt look he had.

"I think we should." He said pretending i asked for his opinion.

"Well i dont want to." I answered coldly just wanting this hard conversation to be over.

He stood up anger showing in his gorgeous green eyes. I felt bad but knew i had to be strong. I needed to get this over with and quickly too.

"Fine!" He yelled throwing his hands up in the air. "You know all i have ever done to you is been nice and you act this way. No wonder you have no friends because you push them all away! If you want to stop acting like a bitch give me a call but until then im done." He said defeated tearing my heart out. I knew the words were true but i needed to do this for myself. Now was better then waiting till i let him get too close at heart me first.

I saw him turn around and walk away looking more upset then angry which made me hurt even more. I felt a tear fall from my eye and slide down my face.

I hated this feeling.

"Mom, what do i do?" I asked looking up to the sky.

I guess its done with now and all i need to do is move on with my life.

Forget the past. Its easier.