Dysfunction (Discontinued)

Baby faced Bia (New chapter)

Now I was left to sort through her stuff and mine hoping one day she'd at least come get it so I could stop thinking about it. Mentally I was on autopilot until it was time to finally go to the our first appointment. I was expecting her to be there first but she wasn't. I met Doctor Nia who explained to me we'd have these hydrosleep sessions three times a week. When Bia walked into the room the noise in my head finally stopped. She didn't want to look at me and that was evident. I tried waiting for her to finish talking to the doctor but my impulsivity got the best of me. I walked beside her and I could feel the repulsed energy radiate off her. She snaps at me when I offer to go into the tank first.

" I'm trying to be nice here, and you're making it real fucking hard ", I snap back.  I really wasn't mad at her, I was just hurt because she snapped first. I felt defensive when she was around because I didn't want her to take what I was saying in the wrong way. She surrendered but was still irritated.

The hydrosleep tank was painless. It felt like I was put under anesthesia for a time. I remembered every moment the machine pulled out of me.Unfortunately I had to relive the death of my father. What haunted me so much was that I didn't at least get to be there with him while he passed away. It hurt me that he passed away alone and bled out while I played ball. When I got out of the tank her demeanor changed. I left the room to change for the huts. When I came back she wasn't there. After our break I went outside to get her. I opened the door to see puffy eyes.

" Erik...", she starts.

" Don't ", I snap. I immediately cringe at my tone. It was a habit...a habit I'd have to break. The more I snapped the harder this was be for the both of us. I returned apologetic eyes to her. I led her inside and she took her her turn.

Seeing Bia's sexual abuse in foster care really churned my guts in the most literal way. I was nearly sick in the lab. Thankfully the projection cut before things got too drastic. She was embarrassed and it was written all over her face. Just like me she built up a wall when I approached her in the hut. It took her awhile to open up but then she finally let it out.

It was important to her that she wasn't a victim but I rather saw her as a survivor. We both were and though she'd never see it, I saw us as equals. The both of us had experienced the lowest points of human behavior and had endured it, survived it and moved on. We both had seen evil and looked it in the eye. She didn't believe me when I told her she was strong and it frustrated me. I guess I only had myself to blame because I didn't express to her how highly I thought of her,

" Want me to kill her ? ", I ask truthfully referencing her abuser. She laughed but I was kind of serious. She just had to say the word. Instead she insisted that the girl probably was hurting too and that it wasn't worth it. I suppose it would be like beating a dead horse since the damage had already been done but still...it still could have felt good. 

After getting her to warm up to me with conversation she seemed to be less tense around me. In fact she even threw me a smile. She gave me back my fathers necklace insisting it was only for me. I watched her walk away and get escorted home. I left that appointment with some hope for the future.

I was 80 percent sure Bia wasn't taking me back but somehow our talk eased my mind.  When I got back home my electronic citizenship was given to me. The rest of my share of the money was wired to me. My license was made for me and now all I needed was a car. I let Bia have our old car unknowingly which would be delivered to her tomorrow unknowingly. Since she had given me everything I at least wanted her to have something that I gave her. Why spend good money when you already had a car ? As for me, I was at the dealer the next day. My Xhosa could use some touching up but it was nearly perfect. When I didn't speak it regularly it took some time to get used to. I got a " Libyan rocket" which was believed to be one of the safest cars in the world. That wasn't the appeal to me, I just liked the look and horse power.