Fake (N.S)

50.

"Oh, baby," I said, my tone was filled with sympathy that I didn't think Niall appreciated. I knew that he was worried that speaking about this with me would cause me to view him differently, more fragile and spineless but I just wanted him to see that opening up would be more beneficial than harmful.

"It probably won't ever happen. People talk, you know? Caring about me or not, my mum'll always be a gossip, she'll always care about what all those other rich entitled people think of her. Separating from her husband isn't exactly a good thing to be remembered for," he shrugged.

"And how would you feel about that? If they split?" I asked him.

"I don't really care. Once I move out I'm never going to speak to him again. And it's not like it'll be very different to now. It's not as if we were ever a happy family that's suddenly going to be ruined. My parents were never really in love and their marriage was more of a legal thing than an emotional one. A divorce will be more like ending a business contract, if anything."

I bit my lip, trying not to make it seem as though I felt sorry for him. I did, but not because I thought he needed it. I cared about him way too much, even thinking about him being in the slightest bit of pain was enough to make me feel miserable. He really did deserve the world. 

"He was going to send me away when I was younger. After I told him I was gay. I guess he thought that maybe he shouldn't have sent me to a public school and that leaving me at some fancy private school would help shape me into a more desirable person," he continued.

I remembered that rather vividly. Obviously Niall's sexuality had caused some tension in his family and for months Niall had to deal with his parents about it. Of course, Niall and I weren't friends at that point so it didn't concern me but I could remember hearing him talk about it.

Even back then, the idea of not being around Niall scared me a little bit. Now, I didn't really care about him enough back then to say that I needed him around, but I could vividly remember the younger version of me thinking about Niall moving somewhere else, not being able to see this one person who had always been there. 

"I think the fact that it was an all boys school made him change his mind. At least there were girls at the public school around to remind me of what I should be interested in, even if they weren't up to the standard of what my parents wanted."

"He's an asshole," I let out, my hand moving to his leg, rubbing his knee softly.

"So you've said," he hummed, his eyes closing for a few seconds. 

"I just-- I don't understand how you're like this when your parents are..." I trailed off, not knowing an appropriate way to describe them. 

"You don't need to censor it, Harry. I know what you're thinking and I agree. Well, my mother's not quite as bad as she used to be, but they were terrible parents." he sighed. 

"I didn't want to say anything. I mean, as horrible as they are, they're your parents and they technically gave me something that I could never repay them for. I just don't get how you turned out so perfect."

He blushed at my words, rolling his eyes as a way to deflect the rising colour in his cheeks. 

"I had good people around me. I had you growing up, your mother was the amazing caring mother that I never had and I guess I was able to forget that my own father hated me."

"There anything else you want to get off your chest?" I asked.

"He's never said anything nice to me in my life. I tried to be good enough for him and everything I did was just cast aside. Or I was scolded cause in my desperation to impress him I was distracting myself from what I should be doing. I wanted to learn how to play the guitar but I didn't get too far before he told me off cause I should be using the extra time to study."

"And while all this was happening, I was going out of my way to make fun of you in front of the entire school," I commented, biting my lip.

"It wasn't so bad. Yeah, I lost my best friend but you were a piece of shit and it gave me a distraction. I could take my anger out on you and just pretend that I was pissed off because you told everyone that I was a slut," he said with a small smile on his face.

"If I knew how much of a piece of shit your dad was maybe I would have made more of an effort to stay your friend," I said.

"Yeah but if we were friends then we would have never had sex. We wouldn't be here right now," he grinned.

"It felt good to yell at him," I told him. "After hearing all that shit he says to you. I'm so happy that I was finally able to stand up for you."

"You didn't have to do that. What he says doesn't matter--"

"Ni, don't say that you don't care about what he says. You just spent all this time opening up to me about how this has all effected you. And it makes me inexplicably angry that he would ever do these things to you."

"I love you. I don't think I tell you that enough," he said softly, gazing up at me with a grateful smile on his face.

"I love you too."