Teach Me ✅

49. No Regrets

He pleads guilty. I was shocked when we got the news but I was thankful since the last thing I wanted to do was face that man again. He ended up getting three charges of attempted murder, stalking, breaking and entering, and on and on. I was wide eyed in shock when I read the list of charges that would place him behind bars until the day he died.

It was a bittersweet moment. Of course I was happy to see him pay for what he did but there would always be the reminder that at one point the man had meant a lot to me, we shared a life but then I remember that those two men are completely different and that I can't feel bad for the consequences of his bad decisions. He almost costed me everything, he needed to pay for that.

It's been about a month since everything happened and things have finally settled down and fallen into a routine...well as much of a routine as you can have with a two month old. "Did you know that today was his due date?" I ask Josh while I'm rocking our son back and forth in the rocking chair while I feed him.

"Wow" Josh replies, sitting back against the crib. This was something we did often, stayed together. Since that night neither of us liked being alone; we knew we should probably go see a therapist but there wasn't much free time in our day as of late due to the miracle resting in my arms. "It's crazy isn't it? He's already been through so much."

"I know" I sigh, brushing back the soft brown curls of his hair. "But you're safe now aren't you baby boy?" I coo, staring down at him lovingly. I truly thought I knew what love felt like before he was born but motherly love was a whole nother experience and I was loving every second of it.

"I think he's out sweetheart" Josh chuckles, locking his arms around his knees.

"I think so too" I smile. "Can you come here and take him?" I ask, holding him out to Josh.

"Yep" he says, jumping to his feet and grabbing our son from my hands while I fix my top. He places Gabriel down into his crib and covers him with his blanket before leaning down and kissing the top of his head. "Night kiddo."

I follow Josh to the crib and lean over it, staring down at our perfect little boy. "Get some rest baby boy. Mama and daddy will be back to get you in a little while" I smile, leaning down to give him a quick kiss before looking up to Josh through my lashes. "Our room?" I ask making a smile tug at his lips.

I had decided a couple of days ago that I was ready to give sex another go but I had to admit that I was nervous. "Absolutely" Josh nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hallway to our bedroom.

We stumble into our room and Josh moves to turn on the baby monitor while I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. When he comes back to join me he smiles and caress my cheek lovingly. "Nervous?"

"Terrified" I confirm.

"Don't be" he insists, grabbing the waistband of my yoga pants. "Just trust me" he whispers as he lowers down onto his knees and trust him I do.

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"You said once that you weren't sure how many kids you want. Has that changed?" Josh asks while we're sitting on our front porch with our son in his bouncing chair in front of us. I use my foot to manually bounce it slowly while Josh and I sit on the bench above him.

I look down at our son, the most unbelievably perfect combination of both Josh and I and I know for certain that there's nothing I want more than a huge family. "Absolutely" I nod. "Maybe two or three more" I add, glancing up at him. "That alright with you?" I ask and he nods, smiling brightly.