All I Wanted

Chapter 1

If you're reading this, then you've been compelled. Again. One of them told you to forget what you saw and to go home like it never happened. Search your phone for pics or videos you might've taken. Hopefully, they'll fill in the rest of the information.
Love,
You

Damnit. I close my laptop frustratedly. I can't count how many times I've read this email. Each time is usually when I wake up with no memory of how I got into my bed the night before, and no recollection of half of that day. I move to sit on my bed as I scroll through my phone trying to find clues.

I couldn't tell you how I even came up with the idea to start telling myself I was forgetting things. Important things. But, I did. So now when I read that email, I know that something has happened that my so-called friends are covering up again. I've been getting this email from myself for about four years.

I grew up in Mystic Falls so I'd always heard weird things. When I started seeing them for myself is when I started forgetting. I've pieced together that most of my friends are vampires or something supernatural. And that it's the vampires that can compel me to forget what I saw or where I'd been. Huge patches of my memory are still missing, but at least now I know when I'm being lied to.

I haven't set foot in Mystic Falls since I came to college at Whitmore. I haven't seen Jeremy in almost as long. We used to be best friends; sometimes I thought we could even be more. But ever since Bonnie died, he's gone off the rails. Just like with his parents' deaths. I miss my best friend. I miss free will and my memory more.

After scrolling through everything to figure out what I saw that caused the compulsion, I get ready for the day. As I get ready, thoughts roll around in my head about the past few months. Damon and Bonnie died after some weird spell to get rid of these Travelers, I think they were named. Funny thing about that, I've seen Damon on campus several times in the last few weeks talking to Elena or Caroline.

I'm probably not supposed to know that he's alive again. It fucking sucks too. Damon was like a cool older brother to me. I was devastated when they told me he died. I guess they can't tell me that he's alive again because I'm not supposed to know about the supernatural. But, I thought he would at least tell me sooner. He's never lied to straight to my face. Sure, he's purposely left out details or he's very careful about how he says things. But, he makes sure that he's never actually lied to me.

That's how I know that it's probably Elena that's compelling me to forget. If it were up to Damon, I don't think he'd care if I knew about him. I wonder if Jer knows that they compel me not to know. It would definitely kill me if he didn't have a problem with my mind being messed with.

Anyway, I grab my bag and a few of my books before I head out the door. I walk across campus watching everyone else laugh and goof around with each other on their ways. Then, this thought clicks in my head. If Damon is alive again, then where is Bonnie? Shouldn't she be alive too? They died together, after all.

The thought is pushed from my head as my shoulder knocks into someone and my books fall to the ground.

"Oh god," I say as I drop to my knees to gather my books without looking at the person. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I just get lost in thought and don't really see where I'm going-" I stop when the person crouches down to pick up one of my books.

I watch as a hand with a few rings, including one on his thumb, attached to a wrist with a cool bracelet picks up my textbook for the class that I have with Alaric. Now that I think about it, how did they explain to me how he came back to life? I can't remember.

"Occult Studies." The man says as he stands up and looks at my book intrigued.

I finish grabbing my things and stand back up. Swinging my bag around, I stuff the books in there so I don't drop them anymore. "Yeah, I'm actually going to be late if I don't leave now," I explain as I finally look into the eyes of the man who picked up my book.