All I Wanted

Chapter 3

I roll over onto my side and reach out in front of me. When my hands find empty space, I open my eyes. Jer isn't next to me anymore. He's probably downstairs. As I move to get up, every muscle moves slowly with a dull ache. An adrenaline rush and then a crash can definitely take a toll on the body.

Making my way downstairs, I look around at the state of the house. It looks like a two-man fraternity set up in here. I start to hear voices as I near the bottom of the stairs. Jeremy is talking to Matt in an urgent and quiet tone. I sit down and listen carefully to the exchange.

"They've been compelling her, Matt! I can't let her go back."
"You can't just hold her hostage here. She loves being in college."
"I don't know what else to do."
"Why can't you just get her on vervain?"
"Have you met her? She's a terrible liar!"

At that I snort out loud, finding it hilarious considering I've known bits and pieces for years. I should've been quieter though.

"Y/n?" Jeremy calls from the other room.

Reluctantly, I get up and shuffle into the room. "Morning."

"It's actually 2 in the afternoon," Matt chuckles, "you've been out for almost a day."

My eyes widen at this. "I had so much homework to do..." I whisper to myself as I sit on a chair.

"That's what you're worried about right now?" Jeremy asks incredulously with his large arms crossed.

I frown at him. "What else should I be worried about? Some people actually want to make something of their lives." I close my eyes as I take a deep breath. That did not come out how I meant it to.

"Well, fine then! When we hand you back to Damon and Elena at the border, why don't we just have them compel away any memories of how I've disappointed you while they're at it!"

I clench my jaw, teeth grinding together as I keep my lips in a straight line. "Fine! Just tell them to compel everything away this time. I don't want memories of a best friend who abandoned me when things got rough. I guess we were never as close as I thought anyway."

Jeremy's irritated expression fades quickly. Guilt and shame overtaking his features instead. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but nothing comes out. I stand up quickly, ignoring the dizziness in my head. After looking from Jeremy to Matt, I see that his expression is concerned. I don't wait for either of them to speak as I storm back up to the bedroom.

I storm over to the desk and grab a notebook. I rip a page into several small squares before scribbling furiously on each one. If they're gonna compel everything away, then I'm gonna have a way to get it all back. I got all my memories back when I crossed the border.

Each note says the same thing.

Drive across the border into Mystic Falls. Tell no one. They'll just make you forget.
Love,
You

It was vague, but I knew I'd follow my own directions. It is my handwriting after all. I fold each piece up and carefully put it in a place where no one would find it but me.

One in each of my socks. One in each pad of my bra. One tucked into the band of my underwear on my hip. One in a pants pocket.

I save the rest to tuck into places in my car. After making sure that I have everything, I make my way back downstairs and to the kitchen. Matt is washing dishes and Jeremy is nowhere in sight.

"Where's Jer?" I say from the doorway.

He looks up suddenly, startled by my sudden appearance. "He went to call Damon." His tone is regretful, like he wished they didn't have to do this to me.