All I Wanted

Chapter 5

I watch as confusion overtakes his features. How human of him. "How the hell do you have your memories? A week ago I watched as they compelled four years worth of memories from you," he says as the confusion turns into irritation.

"Listen, I don't know what you're trying to do to them. But, leave me out of it. I'm not their friend anymore. They're monsters," I say exasperatedly.

His eyebrow twitches upward and he steps back into my personal space. "That's a strong word. I'm sure if you knew all the things I've done..." his eyes roam my body hungrily and my insides clench warmly.

"I don't care. All I care about is having control of my life. And like them, you helped take that away. So, get on with your trap or whatever. I'll be glad when I don't have to deal with any of you anymore." My words are stern, but my heart hurts. I'm more whole than I've been in over four years. Now, the slightest mistake could ruin that.

I don't know if Kai can tell that I'm disappointed, or frustrated. But, he reaches out and strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. Surprisingly, to both myself and Kai, I don't tense up. I don't flinch away and I don't ask him to stop.

"How did I take away your control over you life?" He asks softly. No sarcasm, no malice, just curiosity. His touch still causing a tingling sensation to radiate through my body.

I roll my eyes as I cross my arms and slide down the door of a locker to sit. "You sucked up all the magic from the anti-magic border! You-you siphon whatever!" I pinch the bridge of my nose at my lame attempt to insult him.

"Yes...I did. What does it have to do with you?" He chuckles as he sits down next to me, shoulder to shoulder. I know his laugh was supposed to be comforting, but I can tell there was no actual warmth. Just hollow sounds that mean nothing to him.

I throw my hands up irritatedly. "It's the only anti-magic I had access to," I breathe out. "Now if they compel me, I'll be stuck knowing nothing again." I look down at my hands in my lap and pick at the dirt under my nails.

"You really keep surprising me," he says with a disbelieving grin. I look up from my lap and catch his gaze intent on me. "You figured out that the border would give you your memories back...and then somehow got yourself to cross it."

I nod. "I stuck little pieces of paper with instructions in places that only I would find them. Like my socks, or my bra," I chuckle at my own ingenuity. Kai continues to stare at me intensely. For the briefest moment, his gaze flits to my chest. Just as quickly, they're back on my eyes.

I feel my cheeks warm and I'm surely turning pink as I realize I mentioned my bra. Also, that he just checked out my chest. I know I should be uncomfortable, or scared of what he might do. Because he could literally do whatever he wanted. He's taller, stronger, and magical. He could do anything and I wouldn't be able to stop him. Yet...he's never been purposefully inappropriate with me. So, I'm not scared. I'm maybe even slightly...flattered?

"That's very clever of you," he smirks, brushing over the part about my bra and his gaze on my chest. "I'm sorry I took away your reset button."

I squint my eyes at him. Trying to deduce if he's serious. He looks down at his lap where he plays with a ring on his thumb. I think he's being as genuine as he can be for someone who doesn't feel emotion.

"But, I'm rather disappointed myself. You see, I was really craving that power boost I was gonna get from sucking the compulsion out of you," he sighs mockingly.

I scoff as I get up. "Seriously? You just wanted to eat the magic inside me? That's the only reason you would've given me my memories? That's why you stood there in the woods and let me get compelled in the first place?" I seethe as I begin pacing like a big lion in a small cage.