elysian

18 - exhale

a/n: yes, the clip above is from love, simon. i don't care if you haven't seen the movie. watch the clip. it's one of the most powerful scenes i've seen in a high school movie. ever. it's exactly what i needed to hear (and apparently it wasn't even scripted) and what i need to hear every single day.

i know things are...well, they aren't necessarily bad, but they also aren't necessarily good, either.

regardless, i know you've been waiting for a really good day to roll around. i know you've been waiting for months now and it still hasn't happened. and i know you're starting to believe that it won't again.

but i wanted to come here to remind you that...it will.

things do get better, you know? if you just look at where you were three years ago compared to where you are now — things get better. things have gotten better. you have made leaps in recovery. granted, those steps took what seemed like ages to make, but you still did.

i know things are rough. and i know they have been for a while. but there will never be a time in your life when things are absolutely pristine and worry-free.

there will always be something to worry about.

i am not saying that to scare you away from the good days. i'm saying that so you'll know that even on good days, the worry is still there.

so don't be afraid to get better because you think you won't be yourself anymore — when 'yourself' is connected to worrying. don't be afraid to be happy because you think you're losing part of who you are.

you are not losing part of who you are, hun. you are becoming more of yourself.

you haven't been yourself in a very long time. someone forged a cage around your heart and soul and threw away the key when you were so young that you grew used to the trapped feeling.

but you do not have to be used to it. you don't have to live your life feeling trapped anymore.

you are safe. we broke the lock. you're allowed to come out now. no one will hurt you.

he will not hurt you anymore.

you get to exhale now.