Finding Ourselves

Hard Nights

I was empty. Scott told me Derek was dead and I didn't even know they had a plan to go and do something. I shouldn't have been so distant. I regret ever being like this but it was hard. I needed space. Everyone knew Erica was dead and no one wanted to tell me. Stiles, Scott, Boyd, and Isaac were going on a  cross-country field trip and I was staying here. They all were looking at me worried.

"Loralie?" Stiles said cautiously and I looked at him confused

"You should see yourself. You look more supernatural than anyone here." Boyd said

Isaac got his phone and took a picture of me. I looked and it was like an essence coming off of me. My eyes were changed and there was the colors red and black leaving my body. It was floating all around me. I gave him back his phone and I walked away. 

"Loralie!" They called after me but I didn't listen. 

I got in my car and the bus left. I was in my car for the whole day all hours just sitting there. I felt like I needed to scream or to just let it all out and burst in tears. I couldn't hold back. I let it out and Everything around me broke at the essence I let off pushed everything like a storm. I was calming myself down and I heard a knock on the window. 

I was in my Mom's car and I looked at the window. It was Jennifer. I wiped my tears and I rolled down the window. 

"Hey, are you okay. I saw you crying right now." She said and I nodded

"Yeah, hard times." I said and she smiled. I started to car and she looked at me worried and walked to her car. I just let the air fill the car and I sat there looking like a mess. I felt a sudden familiarity and I looked around. It was like Derek was here. Maybe it was a sign to go by his place and see what's happening. I sat up and cleaned my face. Jennifer was already gone and I drove off to Derek's place. 

I was still driving there when I stared to bleed from the left side of my body. It felt like someone had just cut me. I parked at Derek's and I lifted my shirt. I saw two claw scratches bleeding. Then there was more adding on to it mainly across my stomach and my chest. I really hate the fact that my close bonds are always getting hurt. But I mainly hate that if they get hurt I get hurt it sucks. I felt weak and hurt. I knew Derek had supplied in his loft. 

I got out of the car and I could barely walk. I got to his door and I froze when I heard a heartbeat. It was Derek. He was okay. I was gonna open the door then there was another heartbeat. I listened and it was my worst nightmare. Jennifer was with him. They were together. 

I was gonna open the door then I was hit with Scott. Something was happening. Scott was hurt and he wasn't doing good. I was listening and seeing what he was seeing. I was hearing his thoughts what he was remembering. 

I don't know what else to do. Do I keep trying to get them to listen to me? Do I tell Derek that he's gonna get them all killed? How do you save someone who doesn't wanna be saved? How do I stop them?

Don't stop them. Lead them

I was cut off there when Scott grabbed Boyd. I was crying. His pain was over the top. He was blaming himself for Derek's "death" I felt bad that he was feeling this way. But I'm glad I didn't go with them otherwise I probably would have already lost it. 

I was already gonna open the door and when I listened in. They were kissing. Not wanting this to go on. Not wanting to feel this pain much longer I opened the door. They both pulled apart and they stared at me in shock as I did to them. 

"Ms. McCall!" Jennifer said and I was surprisingly more angry than sad.

"Loralie!" Derek said and just hearing my name leave his lips disgusted me. I closed my eyes trying to maintain myself from attacking that bitch. I quickly ran upstairs and grabbed my bag. I threw in all of my things that I had brought over here. I rushed down the stairs and I was just trying to get to the door.