My little sister

Four

Maddie

I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I AM NOT CRAZY.

"Yes you are. Come on maddie, I know it's only been a day but I know you want to"

"Shut up" I whispered, these voices inside my head were driving me mad.

"I know you want to cut, just do it."

I sat there with my blade in my fingers, just staring at it.

"Come on maddie. Do it. No one will know. It will make you feel better."

"NO" I was screaming "I'M NOT CRAZY" I couldn't stop screaming. I started throwing things.

"Come on Maddie, just do it, just once."

I stopped screaming and sat on the floor thinking..

Maybe I should, nobody would know. Nobody would care. I mean nobody even knows I self harm, I've hid for so long. If Demi found out she would hate me and she probably wouldn't come near me because I'll trigger her. Oh and Marissa, if she found out she would be so disappointed in me. In fact if anyone found out they would hate me and think I'm a disappointment. Most people already hate me so what's the point.

The sound of someone knocking at my door brought me out of my thoughts.

"Maddie" it was my mom at the door.

"What" I tried to hide the pain in my voice.

"What's wrong? why were you screaming?" she said in her most calm voice, I could tell she was about to burst into tears.

"Just go" I said sharply.

"No Madison, open the door now" her voice was stern.

"No just piss off" my voice was breaking.

"Madison, open the fucking door" my mom never really curses, I was shocked.

I started screaming again, I seriously couldn't stop.. I ripped my shelf off the wall and slammed it onto the floor. I was wrecking my room and I couldn't stop.

I heard my mom leave, I stopped screaming and started to cry. I leant on my bathroom door then slid down to sit on the floor. My stomach growled, I looked down and grabbed it in pain. My stomach was empty. I haven't ate in a week or so.

The truth is I don't know what's happening to me. I don't really care but I'm a little scared.

__________________________

Demi

After we said night to my mom and dad me and Marissa came up to my room. As we were getting our beds sorted I started thinking about the conversation we had earlier at the beach, I wanted to carry it on but I don't know if Marissa does. There's something up with her.

After we got our beds sorted we must have fallen asleep. I woke up it and was 2am, I started thinking.

My mom and dad are crushing inside I can tell. They probably think that it's my fault, well it was, maddie has never behaved like this before. It's my fault. Why do I have to fuck everything up. I feel so guilty. I need to make my self feel better, I sat up looking for my blades..

"Dem?" fuck I woke Marissa.

"Yeah?"

"You're looking for your blade aren't you." oh she knows me too well.

"Um, no" I tried to hide the shakiness in my voice.

Marissa came and sat by me. she pulled me in for a hug. I started sobbing.