desi's pov
i heard a knock on the door and answered it. i opened it and saw alex.
"hi alex" i smiled to him. i waited for him to smile back, but he didn't.
"i have to tell you something ; let's sit on the couch" he told me. i followed him to the couch and he had an expression whether to tell me or not.
"you can tell me anything, Alex" i sent him a comforting smile while he sent a forced one.
"i cheated on you"
those words shattered me like glass. actually, they felt like shattered glass piercing through my skin. i felt my eyes turning glossy. why? am i not good enough? what have i done wrong?
he promised my dad, to not break my heart.
but he did.
am i mad?
yes.
am i sad?
also yes.
forgive him?
no.
maybe?
cry?
very much so.
"go" i said to him.
"desi wait-" i don't care how much alex wants to talk to me. he torn my heart into pieces and you think i could listen to his voice?
"LEAVE NOW ALEX" i shouted at him, waiting for him to leave. he breathed heavily, and quietly closed the door.
i finally raced to my room and started crying.
i found the letter he gave me for the song he wrote the young and foolish shit and ripped it apart.
i deleted all the pictures of him on my camera roll.
i threw away the hoodies of his.
i sobbed on my bed until i heard a knocking on my door.
"go in" i said.
someone opened the door and sat on my bed. i stayed in the position i was in; not bothering to move. and at this point i don't give a fuck if it was a murderer right now.
"why was alex here a few minutes ago?" a familiar voice spoke- it was my dad.
"alex- alex, broke up with me" i weakly replied.
"do you want me to beat him up?"
"no" i weakly laughed. honestly i wanted it, but i don't want my dad to end up in jail and alex being hurt.
feelings don't go away that fast.
"let's eat pizza okay? and let's invite the twins here for dinner"
"thank you dad" i smiled and hugged him.
i tried to get out of bed, my legs feeling numb. i finally went to my balcony, trying to remember how he asked me.
it's like dreaming something so beautiful you don't want to wake up, but you do.
it just sucks. i grabbed my phone and looked at my recently deleted. it was photos of us,
i miss him a lot.
alex's pov
i hated it.
i hate every single thing i did that made desi cry. i can't believe a human being like me, could hurt another one.
sclera was just a distraction, desi wasn't.
i wish i just stayed home with Desi and none of this would have happened.
but it did. and that's what hurts the most.
Sclera forced me to admit it to desi that i did it.
i have 2 days left before i leave L.A. i'm going to live with my family until i'm ready to go back. i don't think im ready to be here.
i miss her, a lot.
~
desi's pov
"stassie, c-come over, i want to talk with you." i called stassie on the phone.
"coming" stassie softly said and canceled the call.
imagine if i was with alex right now,
we would be laughing, we would watch movies, we would ride bikes.
imagine if alex never came to the party.
imagine if i chose ethan over him.
"open up" i heard stassie knock on the door.
"wait" I said and opened up the door.
"what happened?" stassie sits down on the bed.
"alex cheated on me." i weakly said.
"i fucking knew it" stassie puts her hand on her forehead, looking down.
"did you forgive him?" stassie says.
"why would i?" i replied like she was acting as if were dumb.
"do you still love him?" she asks. i thought for a moment.
"y-yes, i do. and i hate it." i told her, looking down, pulling the roots of my hair.
"maybe he still loves you, desi." she touches my arm.
"no. he doesn't! if he really loves me, he wouldn't cheat! he would have even left the party for fuck's sake!" i yelled until i felt tears running down. i laid my head on stassie's lap.
"i-i just don't know, stassie."
"how do you make the pain stop," i felt a tear escape and didn't even wipe it away. somehow it was comforting.
"maybe one day i'll meet a person who looks at me and sees everything.,"
"but who stassie, who?"
she stayed silent. i'm glad she did. i really needed someone to vent to.
~
"desi, the twins are here" my door opened and it was my dad.
"okay" i said and stood up from the bed.
"i'll get going, okay?" she copies my action and hugs me as a comfort.
"love you stassie" i smile at her.
"love you too" she smiled back. she waved my dad a gooodbye and left the house.
