ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀᴄᴜᴛs [ Langst ]

▼□ I Am Damaged □▼

    based off of heathers

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Lance's P.O.V.

I stared up at the dark ceiling, straining my mind to see stars littering it. Imaginary light illuminated from the specs.

    Back home, I had glow-in-the-dark stars that stuck to my beige ceiling. I miss them. To help myself fall asleep, I used to count the stars.

     But not I can't do that. Ha, I'm an insomniac. Why would I be able to fall asleep anyways?

I am damaged.

    If only I could sleep. Being my consumed by dreamland is 100% better than being left alone with my thoughts.

Ever since I was a baby, I couldn't sleep. I only know that because Mama would tell me stories on how I always cried at night.

"Stupid..." I whispered to myself. My hand reached out and tried to grab one of the imaginary stars. But my hallucinations disappeared the second I touched one.

     I spent hours of the night trying to regain the image of the stars, but I soon fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

Far too damaged.

——

    My alarm went off, startling me awake from my slumber. I groaned before smashing the Altean clock and slipping out of bed.

      I kept a hand on the wall, not trusting my own legs to keep me upright. The more the days went by, the less energy I had during the day. Making me nauseous and sleepy.

      After changing into my suit, I slipped on some make-up to cover my eye bags. They were getting worse to the point where my sunken eyes looked like dark holes in the absence of light.

      I rushed down the castle's hallways, finally arriving at the training deck. But of course, I'm the last one there.

      "Lance! What the hell! You're like ten minutes late!!!" Pidge yelled at me in frustration. I made up a quick lie about beauty sleep, when in reality I was trying to hard to hide what I didn't want them to know.

  But you're not beyond repair.

    "We'd get so much more done if you weren't so late all of the time!" Keith continued. Ow, that one hurt.

      A deep, uncomfortable feeling built in my throat as Pidge and Keith started to rant about all of my flaws. I felt my shoulders curve in on me, my eyes fixed on the ground.

     Hunk was trying to calm them down, but he was too civil to outright tell them to stop. It got to the point where Shiro had to step in.

     "Alright guys, leave him alone. I think he knows he slows us down." Shiro said with a sigh. I grabbed my elbows and turned to the wall, finding it very interesting in this situation.

Stick around here.

    Huh, didn't think that Shiro would ever crack enough to insult me. How wonderful. "Let's get on with the lesson then!" Shiro announced.

Make things better.

    I stood behind everyone as Shiro explained the exercise. No one seemed to notice my pained expression, or how it took all of my energy just to keep upright.

"We will be doing a linked mind activity. Allura will explain more thoroughly." Shiro said before stepping aside so Allura could speak.

"Thank you, Shiro." She started. "The mind link is sort of like telekinesis. Though we can all hear the person with the helmet ons thoughts. We're doing this because we want to know how everyone feels about each other or if there are any problems with them recently. Be careful though, if you think of your memories the others will see them too." She explained.