THEA

Chapter Twenty-One

Thea P.O.V.

The sunshine wakes me up, shining in my face like a high power flashlight. I groan in annoyance, and open my eyes. I'm met with a large muscular back, and someone's light breathing. Lucca. I slowly unwind my arms from around his large torso, and scoot away, staying silent to not wake him up. He kept his deal, he stayed above covers, and didn't cuddle to me, but I didn't follow those rules. As soon as I'm off the bed, I grab a pair of soft shorts, a tank top, fuzzy socks, and under garments before heading to the shower.

I tried staying silent the whole time, even though I failed miserably. As I creep out of the bathroom, Lucca is still asleep on the bed, his big frame now sprawling out on the bed. I walk over, ignoring the protests in my mind telling me not to. I let my hand lightly trace his jaw, sparks tingling my fingers at the spot of contact. I brought my fingers through his hair, it soft and silky. He groans in his sleep as soon as I began to play with his hair, so I jerk my hands back, and scurry out of the room, not wanting to wake him up.

I turn on the stove and decide to be a little unhealthy and make Nutella stuffed pancakes. I put dabs of Nutella on parchment paper, spreading it around in a circle, and then setting it in the freezer. I start on the batter, making it from scratch, because that's is the only way to have good pancakes. I stir the ingredients, humming a tune that has been stuck in my head.

The pancake batter is completely mixed, and I pour a little on the skillet, after I spray it with non stick butter. I grab the Nutella circles from the freezer, and set the cold pan on the counter. Grabbing a plastic flipper, I scoot it under a Nutella circle and set it on the top of the cooking pancake. I pour more batter on top, covering the hazelnut chocolate goodness.

Once the bottom is browned, I flip it over, and keep waiting. After the first couple are finished, I set them on a plate, and put it on the place mat for Lucca when he wakes up. I continue to make breakfast when I feel a large hand wrap around my waist, and a chin rests on my shoulder. I tense at the action, making him chuckle in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. His lips graze my jawline, and them come back to my ear, his warm breath teasing me.

"Good morning, mon belle chéri." My heart involuntarily speeds up at our close proximity, making me nervous.

'Don't convince yourself into thinking he'll love you. No one can every love a disgusting monster like you.' A little voice in my head tells me, bringing me out of reality. I snap out of my trans, and pretend Lucca isn't there.

"I made you breakfast, it is on the counter." My voice is cold and calculating, making him freeze on my shoulder. His hand slips from my waist as he trudges over to the counter.

I get back to my pancakes, ignoring the stares Lucca is giving me. I flip one after another, and set them on my plate until it's a full stack. Lucca hasn't touched his food, making me sigh in annoyance.

"Eat your breakfast, it is the most important meal of the day," I reply, my words short, making him glare at my mouth, as if he doesn't want to believe I could say that.

"What is with you?" I tilt my head in confusion. "At the dinner you were so relaxed, and fun, and I thought you were interested in me, but I guess I got the wrong impression." I sigh, and stab at my pancakes, making the melted Nutella ooze out of it. Why does my life have to be so complicated.

"See that's the thing Lucca. I'm not a good person, I never was, and I never will be. You deserve someone like Belle, she fits you. I would just ruin everything." I say, truth in my words. I grab my plate of pancakes and head to my room, not waiting for his reply.

"When you are done with breakfast, leave the plate, I'll clean it. Thank you for last night." I slam my door shut, my emotions seeping into the force of how hard I slam the door.

I want to stab my pancakes in anger, but I couldn't harm the wonderful food. I glare at it before cutting it open, the chocolate oozing from it, making me more hungry. Thoughts race through my head as I try to comprehend what happened this morning. I wake up to be glued to Lucca's side, totally betraying my heart by making myself seem like I have a chance. He also got very close and flirty, but the logical side of me just told me he does that to women. He's rich and handsome, he can flirt whenever with whoever he wants.

I can't have feelings for him, because all I will do is hurt him, and end up hurting myself. I scream in frustration as I pull my roots with my hands. Why couldn't I be normal? Why did my life have to be so messed up that I'm afraid to be in a relationship, let alone have feelings? I eat my thoughts away with the delicious pancakes, before deciding on working out then taking a nap, because why not.

I throw on actual socks and sneakers and head to the little workout section I have in my apartment. I start by doing ab workouts, some on the ground and some on the yoga ball I had in the corner. Switching to legs, I do a lot of quick step exercises, making my legs burn in pain. Finally, I work on fighting. I pull a punching bag from the closet in the guest room and starry throwing punch after punch. Once my hands are bleeding, I stop. Running my bloodied hands under the faucet and washing them clean, I decide on a shower. As I open the door, a song comes to mind, and I can't help but sing it. I skip most of the verses, and head straight to the chorus.

You're gone and I gotta stay high all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh

By the end I'm power belting, my emotions poured into every lyric, never to be heard by anyone but me.