Desperate Need

||Chapter 10|| Namjoon

Namjoon POV
Shocked I was and looked at Jin.
He was running towards her with a shocked look in his face.
Started to shake her, I bend down over her with my knees on the concrete of the street, she was closing her eyes as I started to shake her with desperation.

I checked her pulse .... I couldn't feel it.

---

Jin shook me until I was awake.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Are you going home?" He asks as I noticed I fell asleep on the couch in the waiting room.
"No I need to be here until she wakes-" I stopped and looked up, saw [Y/N] mother coming towards us.
"So her left arm got broken, so she'll be home in a week and as for the car that hit her, the driver will be serving some time in jail for drinking and driving" she said as she looked exhausted.
I mean her daughter got hit by a car for Christ sake.

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Two weeks past, she hasn't called me or Jin.
I was worried. Last week on Friday I went to go visit her, but she shook her head meaning to leave her alone and said she was busy doing makeup work she missed during her week in the hospital.
I missed her, she found out that I liked her and came rushing towards me. I should've explained instead of running away.

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Monday afternoon I went to check on her again, Jin's car was there, in front of her house.
Why is he here?

While [Y/N] was in the hospital, we didn't talk to each other at all. I came home from school and did my homework and he did the same just that he came late sometimes.
It was silent for two weeks, that I think the maid was more talkative and she only talks to my parents through the phone and asks if we needed anything.
Our mother comes home very late, so she doesn't talk to us that much since she has an "important drama" she has to work on in the studio. As for my father, he's in Italy and might come home next month.

I saw Jin helping her get inside his car, she looked happy.
As they drive away, I start to follow them.
He helped her out and got me thinking I haven't seen Jin this happy. As he was teasing her about her arm (I'm thinking) and [Y/N] is laughing.
Three years, I haven't seen him this happy in three years....
As they go into the ice cream shop, I start thinking that maybe I should go in there and say that I like her and he should back away... or maybe. I started thinking about it. I should let her go ...
Let go of her.
My brother deserves happiness after a awful childhood and my parents not being there that much and me .... I started to think harder ...
I'm not there either ...
My brother is a nice, outgoing guy and really smart. He was on the snowboarding team, he loved to eat a lot. Mostly with me, and I loved it. He had no reputation at all, no one called him a "playboy", even though girls were lined up for him, he wasn't interested at all. He was on top of his games when competing in snowboarding. He had A's and B's on his classes. He was happy.
What had happened?
I couldn't believe it ... my mind has came into a conclusion.
It was me.
Three years ago when [Y/N] came to our school and found out that she bumped me to second class, I had to meet this girl. My attention went to her. I had a double date with my brother on Valentines dance night. He went with Jiwoo and I went with Wendy. I ignored Wendy that whole night and offered a dance with [Y/N] as I felt like she was the only girl I had to dance with that night.
Wendy had gone with Jin and Jiwoo as I told them to go without me. Jin was offering to stay, but I shook my head and told him to leave. He looked disappointed just as Wendy. Three of them left. I ditched my brother that night.
After that, I hanged out with [Y/N], I stopped hanging out with Jin during lunch, I stopped going to his games. He asked me after his games why didn't I go. My only response was "I was with [Y/N]" I told him as he looked disappointed.
My parents got promoted at their jobs and we were happy for them. After promotion, they became busier and never were home, I wasn't either since I was busy with my extra curriculares at school.
Jin was alone.
He wasn't with anyone's company. He wanted my company when needed, but I also left him when he needed me, but I left him too and so did my parents. We left him alone. My parents and I...

I saw how happy they were, how happy he was and [Y/N] looked happy after one week in bed and another one doing extra work.
They both looked happy.

I started driving away and looked away. Thinking that time is always off. Maybe in another life I was with [Y/N] and we were happy.
I drove away as I had a thought ...

They deserve happiness.