Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

Something to Fight For

Gracie

It had been five days since I last saw Jonathan. I felt like I was dating someone in the service because I never know when he's available to talk or what he was going through. I only knew what he told me and it wasn't all that much that can be told over the phone. I see what he does when he plays, but the rest of it is up in the air. It's not that I thought he was cheating or doing something he shouldn't be. It was that I thought he was out living a great life without me and that made me sad.

So instead of being beside of him I had to wait. Wait for the dominos to fall, wait to see where they land, wait for him to return and hope that we can just pick up where we left off.

I lay on my bed with my headphones in my ear as I stare off into space. My mind going so fast that it was now blank. Just a bunch of nothing as I drift off to wherever it is my heart takes me.

After a few songs I feel a tap on my leg. I lift my head up and see my dad sitting at the end of the bed waiting to talk to me. I take out my earbuds and sit up so I could converse better.

"What's up" I ask.

"Your mom and I are a little worried about you. You've been in here a lot lately" he claims as he pats my bed.

"I'm fine" I insist.

"You're not" he says.

"You cannot tell me what I do and do not feel" I argue.

"I know what's good for you" he claims.

"You mean what's good for you" I challenge. He lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes. He keeps them shut before facing me again.

"You sitting in your room because Jonathan is gone is one of the many reasons I did not want you with him. You shouldn't have to wait for him to come back to be happy. You're a beautiful young girl that could have any guy, you don't have to settle for Jonathan because he's different. For all you know he could be off cheating on you right now and you would never know it. He is capable of doing some terrible things and I don't want you to be on the receiving end of this. It's my job to protect you" he claims and I scoff.

"It's your job to love me. To support me and wish me nothing but the best no matter what it is I choose to do. As my father you should let me make mistakes then teach me how to fix them. Your job is not to tell me how to feel a certain way about certain things. There's some things money can't buy... and love and lack there of is some of them" I say.

"I'm guessing he told you..." he trails off.

"I made him. He would have taken it to his grave if it wasn't for me. I told him that I don't lie to him and he doesn't lie to me, he told me because he loved me and he didn't want your dumb ass mistakes to separate us" I say.

"Gracie" he gasps.

"No, don't "Gracie" me Dad. I'm not the one who tried to sell his daughter off. You tried to paint a guy you never even gave a chance to as the bad guy when in reality it was you all along. Jonathan has been nothing but great to me despite your efforts to keep him away. He's always a gentlemen and tries way too hard to impress me. He's never once complained about what you've put him through, like being a professional athlete isn't hard enough without any help from you. He's done nothing wrong yet you keep trying to hurt him, to hurt us.

I love him daddy, and he loves me too. And there's nothing you can say or do that would make us give up on each other. Whether you like it or not he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with" I argue.

"You're making a huge mistake" he warns.

"The only mistake I've made was letting you do the things you have to us" I claim.

"I don't know what to say to get you to understand" he claims.

"I don't know what to say to get you to listen to me" I argue. "You never listen to me."

"Because you don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about love Dad. I'm talking about my love with Jonathan and I don't expect you to understand it. You're not him or me and you would never get why we feel the way we do. But all I ask is than you at least try to comprehend what that man means to me. Try to listen with your heart and not your wallet or your head. I want you to remember of a time where a young man was told he could never be with a black girl because she was no good for him. I need that man to be here for me" I say.

"That man is gone. Things are different now, people are celebrated for being in interracial relationships and my love for your mother was justified. But you and him, there is no justification for that. No amount of time will make him any good for you" he claims.

"And that's where you're wrong. Because he's always been good for me" I reply.

"You're not going to listen to me, are you" he asks.

"I can hear you just fine. Too bad what you're saying isn't any good" I admit.

"Why must you be so stubborn" he questions.

"I guess I finally have something to fight for" I say.

He stares at me for a second before getting up off my bed. He says nothing before turning around and walking out. I get up and slam the door shut behind him. I walk back to my bed and fall on it. I look over to my night stand and see a picture of me and Jonny after one of his games. He was still in full uniform and since the games are a family function I was in a nice dress. But I loved that picture because even though we looked so different, we looked so good together. And we were good together, I didn't need a cute picture to know that. But it's a nice reminder that I'm the end, it's always worth it.