Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

Purpose

Jonathan

As the preseason starts to wrap up my secret adventures with Gracie continue to go on. Sometimes it isn't much, a few minutes here and there or real late at night. She eventually got her phone back so that made it a little bit easier but she had to delete her texts almost immediately after she sent them because her dad checked her phone so often. It was hard at times, but never for a second did it feel wrong. I just looked into her eyes and that was insurance enough that I was supposed to be with her. We were getting pretty good at this whole sneaking around thing, maybe not something to be proud of, but that's what's happening.

And over the month we've been together I've learned so much about myself, her, and the world we live in. I know what we're doing is frowned upon and if her dad wanted to, he could really hurt me one way or another, but she was worth it. She was always worth it.

"Can I ask you something" she says as we relaxed in the park. We laid out the blanket I brought and snacked on the food she was able to sneak out thanks to her mom. She laid her head on my arm as my hands rest behind my head. Her hand rises and falls as it rests on my chest feeling my heart beat fast.

"What's up" I ask as I laid on my back as we stare up to the pretty blue sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight.

"What is it like to have a purpose in life" she wonders.

"What do you mean" I wonder.

"What's it like to know where you belong? To know that you are supposed to be here for a reason" she reiterated.

"I don't know. I don't think about it really" I admit.

"Can you" she asks and I sit up a little. I turn to her as she sits there looking up to the sky.

"It's a pretty good feeling, I guess. Knowing that I'm here for a good reason. Ever since I was a little boy I knew I was going to play in the nhl. I spent every birthday wish and every shooting star hoping that I would one day be here.

And now I am here and it's better than I have ever imagined. I have great friends that look up to me and every time I step out on the ice I know I belong out there. I look around and there's a bunch of people wearing my jersey because they believe in me. They think that I am what this organization needs to be good again. It's nice to know that I believe in my dreams and other people believe in them too.

I've always known I would play hockey, and playing here with these fans is just justification to that. I love it, being out there and making magic. Playing with guys like Patrick and Marian and Duncan. It's a great feeling knowing that we were put together for some reason. I haven't had time to sit back and look at it but I guess your right. I know this is where I belong" I say before looking down at her. "Kind of like how I feel when I'm with you."

She finally stops staring at the sky and turns to me. She couldn't stop the smile from coming up on her lips as she fixes her hair after she had been laying down for so long.

"You feel like you're supposed to be with me" she asks.

"You make me feel a lot of different types of ways. And that's one of them" I admit.

"What else" she smirks.

"You make me feel like even though hockey is my purpose, it isn't everything that matters. Like you... you matter to me too" I say.

She softly cups my cheek as I look down at her. She smiles up as me as her beautiful eyes search my face for answers to her questions.

"Do you want to know why I'm so into you" she asks.

"I've been asking myself this since we first met. I don't get why you go through all this trouble just to be with me" I admit.

"Because Jonathan, when I'm with you I can finally be me" she says and this time I smiled. "My whole life I had to act like I'm someone else, but now I don't have to. You understand that you're not perfect and you don't want to be. You're this amazing human being that likes to make people smile and wants to have fun. You're so real and it's addicting. You're helping me find out who I am and I am at my best when I'm with you" she claims.

"I feel so bad for you. I don't want you to defy your father just to be with me" I admit.

"I'm going to make him see that you're not a bad guy. In fact... I think I'm going to tell him about us tonight" she claims. I shake my head and blink a few times before staring at her again.

"Are you sure about that" I ask.

"Yeah. It's not like he's willing to get his hands dirty, he's not going to send someone out to end you. You're too famous for that. He'll be upset with me for a while but if he's a good man then he'll see that this is good for me. That I'm not who he wants me to be, I'm just... me" she says.

"I hope you know you're a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't know what you're looking for and I can't tell you what you'll find. But I do know that whatever conclusion you come to, it's the right one. You have a mind of your own, a beautiful mind at that, and a powerful heart to follow it up. You see the world like no one has seen it before and I think it's the most awesome thing. So if you have to chose between me and a future that you want, I want you to choose a better future" I insist.

"You are the my best future" she claims.

I softly grab her neck and pull her up so I could kiss her. She presses her soft lips to mine as she sits herself up more. Her little fingers get tangled in my shirt as she pulls me close.

"I don't ever want to let you go" I whisper as our lips part ways.

"Please never let me go" she begs as she looks up into my eyes. I softly run my thumb across her cheek and I feel her smile in my hand.

"I got you" I assure her and she nods. She quickly pecks my lips before falling back to the blanket. She looks up to the sky again with a big smile on her face and I had to ask.

"Why are you smiling like that" I wonder.

"Is it a crime to be happy" she asks.

"No" I admit.

"I'm just happy. Happy to be here, happy to being breathing, happy to be falling in love."