Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

Was Blind, But Now I See

Jonathan

"I haven't been to church since I was a little boy" I admit as I zip up my jacket.

"Well it's not going to kill you" Gracie giggles as she too puts on her jacket.

"Going to church, no? Siting with your dad might though" I joke and she laughs.

"If he says anything I give you every right to punch him in the face" she claims.

"Well I think the police wouldn't agree with that statement" I tease.

"Yeah. And if they don't God will" she laughs.

"Church jokes, nice" I smirk.

"I try" she shrugs.

We go off to a stunning white church in downtown Chicago. It was a nice little building, there was a bunch of pews and stands and stuff like that. A place to grab coffee and some snacks or just talk to people. Gracie introduces me to damn near everyone who was in attendance this Sunday morning and I don't think I've ever felt so welcomed so quickly. This is what I wish it was like when guys come over to our team once they get traded.

We sit down near the front of the room in front of where her mom would be standing in the choir. I lace my fingers through Gracie's and set her hands in my lap. She smiles up at me as I continue to look around.

"Do you like it" she asks.

"Yeah. This place has some real charm" I admit.

"My mom designed it" she says.

"Really" I gasp.

"Yeah. This is basically her home. She loves it here, she always has. She grew up in this church and her dad passed it down to her when I was real little. So she designed it so it's modern but still feels like a church" she explains.

"That's really cool. Your mom is so awesome, I see where you get it from" I admit.

"I am my mother's daughter" she smiles.

We sit there and continue to talk as she explains some things about the church. There was people of all different backgrounds here, like a mixing pot. It was really cool to be a part of.

"Gracie" someone nearly yells startling us. We see someone in a choir gown appear and I settled back down.

"What's up May" she asks as the woman approaches her.

"Cindy got sick and she was supposed to open with amazing grace but she can't now. Can you do it... please" the woman begs.

"Yeah! Of course" Gracie agrees. She turns to me and kisses the back of my hand she was holding.

"I'll be right back" she says and I nod. She pulls me into a kiss before hopping out of the pew and back into the hallway.

I sit there by myself and look around. Her mom did a great job with this place, I wouldn't mind coming here more often. I'm not super religious but I went to church with my family as a kid. I've been meaning to come back but I never had the chance to. And now I'm here and I kind of love it.

Eventually the session starts and everyone sits down.  William sits in the same pew as me on the other side. He doesn't so much as look at me which I'm starting to think isn't such a bad thing. I know I've caused a tear with him and his daughter, and that was never my intention. But I'm sure as hell not mad about that either.

Someone sits down and starts on the organ and all the singers come out to the stands. They start to harmonize lowly as they get settled in their spots. Just humming softly so they can figure out where they needed to be.

Then Gracie came out and stepped to the middle of the stage. She was now wearing a white gown and her long hair was pulled back. The clouds outside move so the light from the sun shines in the church and shines down on where she stands. It was December and sunshine was rare, but I thought the timing for it to make a appearance was impeccable. She becomes encased in different colors from the stain glass windows on the ceiling of the church. And they all centered around her, almost giving her a halo. Like she was a angel of some sort.

She steps up to the microphone and takes it off the stand. She spots me and smiles big when her eyes meet mine. I send her a smile back as she gets settled in front of the choir behind her. Her mom looking on so proud.

"Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
T'was blind but now I see."

It felt like I was dreaming, how it all unfolded in front of me. On second I was sitting in the room filled with other church goers and the next it felt like it was just her and I. Every hair on my body stood on end as she starts to softly sing into the microphone. It felt like a breeze entered the building, but in reality it was so still that I could hear a paper hit the floor. But all I heard was her angelic voice and the thumping of my heart.

"T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believe

Through many dangers, toils and snares
We have already come.
T'was grace that brought us safe thus far
And grace will lead us home,

And grace will lead us home."

As I listen to her sing I realized something I should have realized long before. But I realized that she was my amazing grace. She was what makes it so scary to love and at the same time the answer to all my problems. She kinda just showed up in the last place I ever thought I would fall in love with a girl, but from the very start I was infatuated with the thought of her. And after all this that we've been through she was where I wanted to be, no matter where that was.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
T'was blind but now I see

Was blind, but now I see."

She finishes singing to most people on their feet clapping, me being one of them. She says a quick prayer before coming back to the pew and sitting next to me. I turn to her with the biggest smile on my face and I can tell she was trying not to smile back.

"What" she asks.

"I didn't know you could sing" I admit.

"It hasn't come up" she shrugs.

"Well you're an amazing singer, just like you're an amazing person" I say and she finally lets the smile through.

"You know you're not supposed to talk during the service" she says.

"There's never a bad time to remind you that you're incredible" I insist.

Someone behind us gives us a harsh "shhh" and I cover my mouth. She starts to giggle as she places her pointer finger on her soft lips telling me to be quiet. I nod and turn back to the pastor as he gives his sermon. But every so often I would look down at the amazing grace I had beside me and I couldn't help but thank god for her.