Freak

Epilogue

I eventually gained enough weight to go back to school. Even though I was supposed to be in eleventh grade, I was behind everyone else since I never bothered to do the work the teachers sent home to me. I started in mostly ninth and tenth grade classes, depending on how good I did on the tests they made me take, but with lots of extra help from teachers, I worked myself back up to the kids in my grade.

In school, Samantha mostly ignored me. The first day I came back, she asked if I was alright. I said yes, not knowing if that was the actual truth or not. Then she made some awkward small talk and we never really spoke again. Jason and my old friends pretty much did the same thing.

Making new friends scared me, but it happened. I sat alone at lunch at first, but then I mustered up the courage to sit with some girls who were in a few of my classes. They weren't perfect like Samantha and my old friends. They didn't wear nice clothes all the time, they weren't all thin, some didn't wear make up. But I wasn't perfect either. I listened to their conversations in the beginning, laughing and being quiet when I was supposed to. But then I started talking to them. And they accepted me.

Things still aren't always great. There are still days when I run to the bathroom sobbing after that slice of pizza, resisting the urge to puke it all up. There are still times when I have horrible days and run to my room, lock the door, and consider going back to wonderland. The voice in my head comes back to haunt me, sometimes, and all I can think about are all my flaws.

But it's okay. Because things are getting better.