You make me ache

Ch24: Uncertainty and Cookie dough.

Troye's POV.

"... When we're married"- these words echo inside my head, vibrating off my skull and colliding into each brain cell, imprinting their meaning.  After leaving Tyler on the bed and now stood in the kitchen, I flick the kettle on and grab two mugs. As I do so, I cannot prevent Tyler's words from running laps in my mind. I try to process what he has just told me.  I shakily shovel heaped teaspoons of coffee into the mugs and I inhale deeply, breathing in the strong aroma and trying to calm my sudden nerves. I think back to the other day when Tyler mentioned 'our' children when we were in the pool together- those words had excited me and only amplified my thoughts that he is and will always be the only person that I want to share my life with. I wonder how I can now feel so unsure at his words of marriage when I know that ultimately I will marry Tyler one day; a future without him cannot be an option. I have known that my future involves Tyler in it for a long time now, so why has his words turned my head into a whirlpool of clashing thoughts. Whilst I wait for the kettle to finish boiling, I make my way to the bathroom and hope that by the time I emerge again, I will feel a little more settled.

As I pad back towards the open plan living area, I hear the guinea pigs scurrying in their cage again and I notice that Tyler is sat in the kitchen.  He is perched on the edge of the counter, his hands cradling a mug of the coffee and as he flashes me a meek smile, I assume that he is feeling as unsure as I am. His uncertainty makes me believe that his talk of marriage has surprised him as much as it has me and it only adds to my anxiety. I consider the fact that Tyler is obviously frequently thinking about a serious future with me and the thought simultaneously scares and thrills me. Although I only desire a future if it involves Tyler, I have not given it any serious thought and due to this, the fact that he clearly has, worries me. I question if I am not as invested in our relationship as he is, but as I near my gorgeous man, I shake the ridiculous notion from my head- I am so incredibly and deeply in love with Tyler and I know that I should only feel privileged that this feeling mutual.

I sidle up to the kitchen counter and place myself between Tyler's legs and flash him a toothy grin. His nervous expression melts away with my smile and he cautiously puts down his steaming mug, wrapping his legs around my waist. I stretch up into his neck and press a soft kiss onto his smooth skin and as I do, my nerves and unease begin wash away. I continue to shower his skin with dainty kisses until I reach his mouth.  His hands snake around my neck, pulling me closer and the sliver of uncertainty that was left in my body is caressed away. I delight in the morning combination of my minty and his coffee taste but hearing his stomach grumble, I force myself to end the kiss before I get carried away.

"I am a lucky guy" I murmur as our eyes connect.

"How so?" he drawls, now thumbing the faint birthmark that resides on my cheekbone.

"Well..." I begin, rubbing his thighs that still have my body captured "I get to have ice cream for breakfast" I chirp, now grinning wildly. He raises his eyebrow at my response but before he can start listing the reasons why we should eat something healthier, I remind him that he told me breakfast was my choice.

"Hmm, I did that say, didn't I?"

"Yup" I say popping the 'p' with far more satisfaction than being able to choose my own breakfast should warrant. "Plus I never did get my ice cream yesterday". He grins at my obvious glee and releases me from his embrace. I make my way over to the fridge freezer and pull out a large tub of vanilla.

"Vanilla? That's a little boring- if we're going to have ice cream for breakfast, we have to do it properly at least. Where's the chocolate?" Tyler complains.

"You were the one who went shopping and vanilla is all we have" I tell him, now digging in a drawer for spoons. His face crumples but then suddenly he hops down from the counter and tells me that he has an idea. I look at him quizzically as he starts rooting through Zoe's cupboards and pulling out various items.

"Ty, I'm not sure flour makes a great topping..."  I tell him, still puzzled.

"No, but cookie dough would!" he retorts after rolling his eyes at my words.  I feel my face brighten at his idea and as I return the ice cream to the fridge freezer, I pause to give him a kiss and inform he that he is a genius.

"Well obviously..." he sassily replies and I laugh at his confidence.

After finding a recipe online and measuring out all the ingredients into separate dishes, I stare bewildered at the kitchen counter. Tyler is rewashing his hands after greasing a baking tray and I have no idea what he wants me to do with the selection of dishes in front of me.

"I'm starting to think this might not be such a clever idea Ty..." I say, my lack of confidence showing in my tone. He walks towards me, and wraps his arm around my waist. I tilt my head back to him, waiting for an answer but words fail to leave his mouth and instead he begins to lovingly kiss my neck. I let out a hum of appreciation as his soft lips glide against me and my hands quickly find his. I briefly close my eyes enjoying his tenderness, but then suddenly chastise him, reminding him that he shouldn't be distracting me and that I need his help with the recipe.

"We could just forget about baking for now...  I'm suddenly hungry for something with a little more meat" he teases, nipping my skin between his teeth.

"Tyler!" I cry, embarrassed by his flirtatious taunts. He replaces his teeth with a soothing kiss and then quickly spins me around to face him. As I meet his gaze, I smile, his eyes are bright and grin wide and he looks genuinely happy. I stay rooted the spot and inhale deeply with content, unable to tear my eyes away from his face.

"Come on, what's next on the recipe? It has instructions right?" he asks, reaching over me to grab his phone that like he predicts, instructs us how to turn the array of ingredients into delicious cookie dough.

 I continue to smile at him as he helps me combine the variety of ingredients together and by the time we have created the dough, my cheeks ache from smiling and laughing. I place the mixing bowl down on the counter and as his finger delves into the dough, I shake my head fondly at him. I have already lost count of the amount of times I have batted his hands away from dipping into the bowl and this time I let his actions slide.  He grins at me before licking his finger clean, clearly pleased at my defeat.

"Good?" I question and he nods, re-dipping his finger into the bowl. I give him a warning stare but I know that it is pointless; it is after all only the two of us that will be sharing the food. His eyes dance as he brings his covered finger to my mouth and I feel my glare soften as his finger delicately presses against my lips. I obligingly take his finger into my mouth and gently suck before releasing him. With the sweet taste of the dough lingering in my mouth, I watch as he seductively sucks his finger, tasting the dough that I have missed.

"Stop" I warn him, fully aware of his alluring intentions.

"What?" he replies innocently, but raising his eyebrow to indicate the truth in my assumption. Before he can distract me, I walk to the opposite kitchen counter, taking the mixing bowl with me.

"Spoil sport" he taunts as I start moulding the majority of the remaining mixture into cookie sized balls and placing them on the greased baking tray. I roll my eyes at his predictability and beckon him to me,

"Come and help me get these ready to go into the oven". 

"And then we can eat the remainder of the dough right?" he asks, as he stalks towards me. Waiting for my reply, he flashes me a smile, purposefully sliding his tongue across his teeth causing me to subconsciously bite my lip.

"With the ice-cream- definitely" I reply, shivering as he now trails his hands across the base of my back.

"But not just with the ice-cream..." he says, and as his hungry eyes gaze at me like I am something that can be devoured, I have to mentally remind myself to breathe.

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