Fifth Visit

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This was about three weeks ago, once again it wasn't a very good visit, better but still sucked. A family member of mine ruined a very large chunk of it. We were watching Plant Earth, not very romantic but it was on Netflix, and we were cuddling, and he was actually making a move, he was touching my thigh and slowly inching his way there. The anticipation was killing me, the trepidation building wasn't helping either, I knew I would be scared but I didn't want to chicken out, and just like in the movies, my family member busts open the door and we jump five feet apart.

That was it for the night, nothing else happened. I was the one being moody and pissy the rest of the night this time. I have a feeling after I compleat something I have been working on for six years and am finally free, to an extent, we will lose contact and that will be that. I'm sad to think about that but then I think about all the time this has taken up. I'm a logical person, he is too, but for some reason both of us become idiots and start playing stupid games like it's what we have to do to not get in the others way.

Pain in the ass.

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