Second Visit

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He asked to come over while I wasn't at home. I stupidly said yes even though I knew it would be tight between cleaning the house and getting me pretty for when he gets there but when I did get home it was so much worse. I had two hours before he was supposed to show up and if anyone ever cleaned fasted they certainly weren't faster than me but by the time two o'clock rolled around the house was still fairly dirty and I wasn't even dressed yet. I started to panic and messaged him to not come over I was embarrassed I couldn't let him see the way I live or even how I looked, but he didn't respond or look at my messages, and then a knock sounded on the door. Panicked even more I run to the washroom trusting someone else to let him in as I quickly do my makeup and slip on something a little decent. 

The second I seen him at the door I already knew it wouldn't be like the last time he came over and I was right. We didn't cuddle as much; he didn't make any moves to further the contact if it be sexual or normal. We didn't kiss we didn't hold hands, I felt like I did something wrong, like maybe I just didn't look good enough for him, or maybe the house was too gross making him more disgusted. I thought to try what I did last time once three in the morning came around. I closed my eyes and made it seem like I was asleep hoping he would do something so I could get that fulfillment but he didn't. Brushed my check and moved some hair out of my face but ignored me all the same.

After a while longer I gave up and jerked myself up making it seem like I just woke and nothing else happened. Sometime later I actually did fall asleep but it seemed like he did too so he most likely didn't do anything. Five in the morning came and I had to make him leave again, he didn't hug me good bye like normal, he didn't smile at me before he left, he just put on his shoes and walked out the door. I would have cried the same morning but I was too tired, when I woke nothing new was said on the messages, and it seems he is ignoring me...now my goal is to just have him act normal around me again.

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