Respect my athorita

Eric Cartman

           Sometime I feel like I wanna die, I am confused sexually. Its like a I want a sausage but then I know I shouldn't cause its bad for my cholesterol, so then I choose pecans because they're more healthy.But when I eat them, I feel sad inside. Don't get me wrong. I love pecans and the nutty taste it leave upon my tongue, but I love the taste of hot and juicy sausage inside of my mouth. Sometimes I take in so much I can barely breath. I started to experience these thoughts more and more when he came into my life...a Jew with red curly hair and stupid beautiful bright green eyes.  The only reason I made fun of him was to get him off my trail. I didn't want him to catch on...but the truth is that I've fallen for a Jew. I never thought I would see the day.

       The first time I met the Jew, We were outside of the bus stop. He was new... bright. He said hello to me. I wanted to smile and said hello, but I brushed him off, saying a simple and sarcastic "good luck at skewl." I will never forget those sad eyes of him when I crushed his enthusiasm in a moment. 

Our friendship skyrocketed exponentially. I don't know how or why, but we became inseparable. I meet with him at the bus stop along with Stan and Kenny. Kenny is poor, so I don't care about him, but Stan in the other hand is Kyle's best friend. He goes to his house everyday after school to do whatever they please. The first consecutive week of that never ending cycle and I feel an anger of some sorts. The thought of them together like that angers me to the point I have to unleash it by taking it out on Kyle. He gets mad and calls me a fatass, so I return it called him a dirty Jew. It always leaves him flustered and running off in a different direction, leaving me in satisfaction. I always call him by that name just to leave him flustered. One of his hand covers him mouth in a failed attempt to hide his blush and the other hand travels across his chest as he stares at me for a while before leaving the area. This fuels a hatred between us that will never be remedied. 

It's now High School and everyone has changed since then. Kyle distanced himself from me  since the 7th Grade where I tried to use his little brother as a sacrifice to summon the Canadian Devil... again. He finally snapped and told me to never talk to him again. I called him a vagina pussy Jew. His green eyes immediately became glossy and his breathing increased from being embarrassed at my never-failing insults.  He glared at me through his scarlet face before running off. That was the last look he ever sent me. 

It was Senior Year and I was sitting in Anatomy class. I was staring at the front at the board with a blank expression. The teacher was talking about a final project we have to do to end the first semester. We are assigned partners, and into my surprise and horror...

"Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman."

I jolted up hearing his name ring into my ears. I looked to my left to see the red-haired boy looking back at me with light scowl on his face. I was too stunned to even respond to the teacher. I avoided his gaze and for once I tried to pay attention to what the teacher was trying to say, but my thoughts kept distracting me. 

Kyle is my partner... Kyle Broflovski is my fucking partner.... I have to meet with a dirty Jew after school and possibly on the weekends to do a fucking project. I could just not do anything and let him to it all by himself. He doesn't want to breathe the same air as me. What should I do? What CAN I do?  

"Class is dismissed." The teacher finally said before exiting the classroom.

I quickly stood up, making my way towards the exit when I felt my red jacket being pulled. Turning around, I met Kyle holding onto it while averting his gaze. 

"W-We can meet at my house. There is too much work to do, s-so I'm don't want to work on this by myself." he spoke softly. I silently stared at him for a while, thinking about his offer. Why is he inviting me over after us not speaking in a long time? Doesn't his parents hate me? Then again, who doesn't?