Desolate

Chapter 1

"Boo!"

A little blonde blur stepped out from behind a tree with its hands up, hunched over with fingers bent like claws.

"Aaaaah!" I pretended to scream and fell to the ground, curling up into a ball on the ground. "Go away, scary monster!"

"It's just me, Rowan." The little girl giggled.

"Oh, phew." I wiped my hand across my forehead and let out a breath. "You scared me, Bree."

Aubrey bounced around, already excited about something else. She smiled, showing a missing front tooth. With a slight lisp, she said, "Mommy said I could walk you home today. I wanted to show you my new bear!'' She held up a light pink teddy. "I named it Rosy."

"Where did you get it?" I held her hand as we started the walk home.

"Mommy bought it for me, but it came in early. She wanted to give it to me so I could have it for my party tomorrow."

"Nice to meet you, Rosy." I stuck out my free hand. "My name's Rowan."

Aubrey made the bear shake hands and then laughed.

"How was school today?"

"It was ok. It was kinda boring." She shrugged.

"Oh, Bree, it's not that bad." I told her. "There're lots of fun things to do."

"You don't look happy when you come home, Rowan. Or when you leave."

I looked down. "I'm fine, Bree. I like school." I was reminded of how perceptive and intelligent the little girl was, for anyone around her age. I changed the subject. "So how old will you be tomorrow?"

"Seven!" Aubrey squealed and did a little twirl.

"You're so old! You'll have gray hair soon!"

"No, I won't." She giggled. "That's Mommy."

I snickered. Our conversation was interrupted when a voice called out a name.

"Aubrey!" A woman stood on the porch, holding open the screen door. "I got some candy today for someone who's about to turn seven. Any idea whose it is?"

"Mine, Mommy!' Aubrey started to go, but turned around. "Wanna split it, Rowan?"

"No, I'm fine. You go ahead and enjoy it, Bree."

She gleefully ran to the porch and into the house. Mom shut the door without looking to see if I was coming. It didn't bother me anymore; I was used to it.

I trudged up the stairs to my room on the second floor, smiling as I heard the echoes of Bree's excited words. My thoughts drifted to a distant memory. Elementary school, as Mom held my hand and walked me out to the car. It was about first grade. Now she only took care of Aubrey.

A prick of feeling made my eyes sting. After all the years, my parents still had the power to hurt me.

I had grown up with both parents loving me the way they should. The way any good parent loves their child. But then things happened. Things I still try not to dwell on.

We drifted apart, inevitably. Slowly, over years, the tension grew. We weren't a family. Then Aubrey came along. A sister became my best friend. But the only thing that changed with my parents was that they didn't say anything in front of Aubrey.

Dealing with Mom was something I could handle. Most of the time, she just ignored me. But Dad was different. Completely different. When he was home, which was rare, he brought with him scars that would never heal.

A knock on my door startled me, and Mom walked in suddenly.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat this." She pursed her lips. ''Aubrey's party is tomorrow."

"I know. I wouldn't forget."

"Well I'm telling you to."

I resisted the urge to let my mouth hang open. "What?"

Mom shifted her weight impatiently. "Don't come to Aubrey's party tomorrow. I don't want you there."

"Why not?" I was confused. Mom had never acted like this. She usually didn't pay me any attention. "She wants me to come, doesn't she?"

Mom exhaled, looking uncomfortable. "Aubrey will never know if you're not there. She has a few girls coming over from school. I just don't think it's a good idea if-"

"Of course she'll know if I'm not there!" I threw up my hands. "She's been looking forward to this forever. I'd never deliberately not attend."

"Keep your voice down! She'll hear you." Mom snapped, smoothing her shirt. "Aubrey needs time with her friends. Alone."

"Well I'm not going to keep her from having fun," I argued. "I'd just be there for the cake and pres-"

"Rowan. You're not coming. Period."

No, this couldn't be happening. Why would my mother do this? There was no reason. But I wasn't going to back down. "I am coming. You can't stop me."

"I was hoping I could convince you." Mom's expression changed to one of weariness, like she'd lost sleep. She sat down on the bed beside me. I stiffened. "Look. You know there's something wrong with you."

I inhaled sharply. Not this again.

"I don't want Aubrey around that. Not now that she's older. She'll notice eventually, Rowan. And she'll be scared."

"I don't scare her! I never would!" I protested. "There's no proof those things are even me!"

I knew I was grabbing at straws. Anyone could connect the dots. But I didn't want to accept it. That would make it real.

"There's plenty of proof!" Mom's voice strained. "When you're around, things happen. They always have. Even when you aren't worried or upset, they still-"

"No!" I covered my ears. "I don't want to hear it." I squeezed my eyes shut too as if that would help with the feelings, like the pain would go away if I blocked it out enough.

"Listen to me, Rowan." Mom had stood up, clearly trying to keep her voice down while her face grew red. "I see it. Your father sees it. I know you see it too.

"The only thing Dad sees is the bottom of a bottle!"

"Don't be disrespectful." Mom snapped.

"Oh, you mean telling the truth?" I spat. "He's done it for years now, and when he comes home, he always has it out for me. And do you stop it? No! You let him throw things and scream and-"

"Rowan." Mom's face was tight and pale.

"As long as he does it out in the garage, right? As long as he's away from Aubrey and he doesn't let the neighbors see or hear-"

"Enough!"

A crash from the corner of the room silenced us. A picture frame was broken on the floor, glass shards embedded in the carpet. My heart raced and my hands started to tremble. Not again...

Mom stared at the damage, silent until a few words came out of her mouth: "clean it up."

She got up to leave, but then turned around. "So far, Aubrey thinks things fall on their own or just happen to move because of the air conditioning. She won't forever. You're not coming to the party. You won't be around my daughter."

Her daughter. Right. I didn't count.

I took shaky breaths to calm down. It was all okay. Nothing really bad had happened. Just a picture frame broke. The picture would even be salvageable. It would be fine.

Curling up in a ball, I laid on my bed and tried to think of reassuring things. But I wasn't dumb enough to believe them.