A Thousand Chances (Revising)

Prologue

I'm looking at the man infront of me, on-bended knee while holding a small red box with a fancy diamond ring. He's looking  very handsome wearing his grey tuxedo, black shoes and hair was cleanly fixed. He flashes sweet smiles on his lips and I see nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

Unti-unting bumagsak ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. I covered my mouth because of the unbelievable scene I'm seeing. I never expect this day will come. Hindi ko inaasahan na hahantong ang lahat dito ng ganito kabilis, ganito ka-aga, at ganito kadali. This is my dream. Him kneeling down in front of me, asking me to marry him, is my greatest dream. This is what I've been waiting for, for so long. But I never expect this to happen this early—no I never expect this at all. I forced a smile on my lips.

"Will you marry me? " He confidently asked with a hope on his smile.

Yes, I will.

Tatlong salitang paulit-ulit kong isinasagot sa isip ko, umaasa na maririnig niya ang mga ito at malalaman ang nag-iisang sagot ko. But it feels like the voice in my head is not enough for him to hear me out loud. I shut my eyes close and turned my back at him—at them.

"Yes, of course! I will marry you. "

The crowd around cheered and roared loudly after those words, like they are all happy because of it. They are all happy, while here I am on the corner, watching them beginning their new story and ending ours like it was nothing. It felt like another dream became true, but sadly it wasn't for me, it was for somebody else. A supposedly happy ending became a greatest nightmare that I will never forget.

Patuloy ang pagbuhos ng mga walang tigil na luha. Parang sinaksak ng libo-libong kutsilyo ang puso ko. Bawat minuto, bawat segundo, bawat pagbati at sayang naririnig ko, nadudurog ako sa pino. But yes! If I am the one he asked to marry, I will definitely say yes. Because I love him so much—and I thought he also do. Am I wrong?

"Let's give a toss for our soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Rivera! "

My knees trembled when I heard the sounds of the glasses meeting each other. Nanlalabo ang mga mata, tinignan ko muli silang dalawa at sinubukang hanapin ang mga rason kung bakit nangyayari ito lahat sa akin. Sinusubukan kong bigyan ng tamang sagot ang  aking sarili upang mabawasan man lang ang sakit, ngunit mas lalo lang nitong pinalala ang nararamdaman ko.

Parang bumagsak sa'kin ang buong mundo. The world that I used to live in disappeared in just a glimpse. It feels like I interlude another world that is a total stranger to me. The world that I used to love and live my life for became so unfamiliar to my feelings. And I know, right at this moment, the world that I'm seeing right in front of me will never be mine again.

"One day..."

Mariin akong napapikit ng marinig ang isang boses na hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling, ngunit mistulang pamilyar ito sa aking pandinig at nakakahalina itong pakinggan para sa akin. Na kahit na sakit ang nararamdaman ko sa aking dibdib ay napapagaan nito ang aking mabigat na nadamdamin.

"...I'll marry you. "

Memories from the past suddenly flashed on my mind vividly. I see every scenario clearly, like everything just happened yesterday. But now, it feels like time traveled really fast and I can't go back to the past. Even though, these memories are giving me hope. They make me still believe that there's a little chance that the man I love can be mine again. He promised.

Unti-unti kong idinilat ang mga maluha-luhang mga mata. Nanlalabo ang paningin, itinuon ko sa huling pagkakataon ang aking paningin sa lalaking nagpaparamdam sa'kin ng sakit at pag-asa. Pain immediately spread all over my body when the first thing I saw was his stares.
Parang tumigil ang oras, at gustong-gusto ko ito. I want to cherish every second of this moment, even if it hurts. I'm still hoping that he'll walk towards me and tell me that he changed his mind because I'm the one he wanna marry.

Ngunit kahit ata sa panaginip ay hindi na mangyayari ang ninanais kong mangyari. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin na parang hindi ako nakitang nakatayo sa gilid at nasasaktan sa isang bagay na hindi ko inaasahang gagawin niya. Abot tengang ngumiti siya sa mga bisitang bumabati sa kanilang dalawa, ang iilan pa ay nakikipag-kamayan sa kaniya at tinatanggap niya naman ang mga ito. I looked down on his left hand that's wrapped around her waist, it triggered the knife in my heart even more.

"And I don't care if many people will come or no one will, as long as you are there with me, that's enough. "

Liar.

I don't know when did I get out of the building, where the party is happening, but right now I'm running towards nowhere and I know I'm using all my remaining strength not to stop and breakdown. Everything is killing me. What have I done to deserve all these pain that I'm receiving? Ganito na ba ako kamakasalanan para tanggapin lahat ng kaparusahang ito? It all felt like no one is there for me, like everyone left me alone. No one loves me—

"I love you. "

No, you don't!