TRACKSiDED

MOM

Here she is smiling, a smile I've never seen on her face.

"Why don't you ask to be sent to America?"

"No, Jane, I'm good here, and it wouldn't be fair for the victim's family to see me return to my country. Even though I would be in prison there too, it still doesn't seem right."

"Mom, you didn't doㅡ."

"Sssh, Jane, listen to me for once."

The tone is firm; it's what I would have desired to hear back then when I was younger. I would have wished a voice to tell me to stop. Otherwise, they would be consequences.

I realize now that I lived without seizing the notion of consequence.

Butterfly or domino effect, I didn't know anything about what my actions would bring.

"Jane, listen to me, I thought I was living, but I wasn't. I made mistakes because it was more comfortable to hide behind masks. Please don't make the same errors as I did; face the issues you have head-on. Don't shy away from reality; a fault admitted is always the key to forgiveness. I didn't understand; I thought that pretending it didn't occur was the best thing to do. But we should have admitted our wrongdoing and paid our respects to Tae Won's family. We disrespected these people until the end. Even at the hospital after Tae Won saved you, we mistreated and disrespected him."

"Saved me?"

My mom looks at me with the same bewildered stare that I'm sending her.

"Jane, didn't someone tell you? That boy, Kim Tae Won, dived into the water to save you."

Someone kill me.

The room swerves around me, but I don't want to faint and flee this reality. I hold onto the table, which fills up with more and more blotches of tears.

"He jumped?"

"Yes, Jane. That boy jumped in the water when you fell backward, and he didn't point the finger in your direction when I turned myself in."

I can't believe he jumped, knowing who I was and what I did to his existence. I look at my mother, hoping to see the twitches of a lie, but I see none.

What I read on my mother's face is gratitude, and I believe this is what pushed her to turn herself in and confess to the police. Mom felt grateful and obliged to return something, anything to Tae Won to thank him for having saved me.

I swore I would never appear before Tae Won till my dying day, but now in front of this revelation, I just want to run to him.

My dilutions stop as I remind myself what we represent to one another.

He is the victim, and I am a murderer.

"Jane, don't beat yourself up; as I said, don't flee reality, face it. If ever you meetㅡ."

"I won't see him everㅡ."

"I said if your paths cross again, don't run, face Kim Tae Won, and thank him for saving your life."

"Mom, it will never happen."

My mom smiles, "Jane, haven't you ever wondered how in this gigantic city of all people you met Kim Tae Won? My lawyer had his deposition; you two kept encountering without knowing who you were."

"And you think it's positive?"

"Karma, Jane."

Rebecca takes a deep breath and gets up.

"Mom, where are you going? The visit isn't over?"

"Come back another day, I got sweaters to knit, and I think you have better things to do than hang out with your convict mother."

That last sentence somehow manages to wring a smile out of me.

"Take care, mom."

"You too, Jane," she says, waving to me without turning back.

A mother's love, I don't know how it is like, but it must be something like this.

Hi guys,

How do you feel about the chapter?

Who feels sorry for Rebecca?

I didn't like her character, but like Jane, I'm bluffed by what she does. I don't know how many parents would endorse such a responsibility and go to prison for their child.

Who thinks Jane is too lucky to be true?

Do you find Jane Mary Sue-ish?

If yes, please tell me why.

Thank you for reading.