Deceived Heart (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 42

"I-"

"No. Let me finish please. Louis, I love you. I fucking love you so much. And I will always love you. It hurts to see you like this. I don't want you to be like this anymore. My heart shatters everyday you act like this. So please, just talk to me. Talk to the boys. Let us in. And just be you again. For me? Please," he kissed my hand and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Okay. I'll try. I love you so much. If you really want to know what happened, then we'll talk. But not here," I said.

"Yeah. Okay. Okay, then we'll go somewhere else," he grabbed his keys then we both went outside and got into his car.

"Do you want to go to our place?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. That would be nice," I smiled at Harry, and it was the first smile on my face in a week.

"I love your smile. I missed it," Harry whispered and leaned over to kiss me quickly.

During the ride to Stargaze Park, I stayed silent. I was thinking of what I was going to say to Harry. I still didn't want to nor was I ready to tell him what happened, but we've already come this far. 

"We're here," Harry announced. I nodded and we both got out of the car.

"So, where do I start?" I forced a laugh.

"Just take your time," Harry said and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Well... after you left, my father screamed at me. He laughed and said that I was naive. That I was naive for believing you loved me, and for me loving you. He told me I was worthless like he always fucking does, or did. He said that one day you'll realize that I'm stupid and worthless and you'll leave me. He called me a faggot and said God hated me and shit. As you can tell, he's homophobic," I forced a fake smile.

"He's an asshole. And while he was saying all this, he was beating the shit out of me. He's been abusing me for a long time. Ever since my mom died," I confessed.

"What? Why didn't you tell me!" Harry exclaimed.

"I don't know. I didn't want you to worry I guess," I admitted.

"Louis you can tell me anything! I'm your fucking boyfriend I'm supposed to worry about you. I want you to be happy and safe. I can't imagine you getting hurt. I feel like it's my fault that I didn't know sooner!" 

"Just let me finish please?" I asked.

"Okay," he nodded.

"When my mom died, he blamed me for her death. Said it was always my fault and found new ways to hurt me. He would always call me horrible things. He also said some stuff that would hurt like a bitch. I would cry myself to sleep at night. At one point though things got kind of worse."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

I just looked at the ground as we walked.

"Louis. What do you mean things got worse?" 

"I kind of... I don't know," I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Louis, it's not what I think it is. Is it?"

"I don't know. What are you thinking?" 

"You self harm?"

I didn't say anything because he was right. I just looked down at the ground, and I felt my eyes tear up. I hated talking about this kind of shit.

"Louis look at me," Harry stopped walking.

But I couldn't look at him.

"Look at me please," he turned my head to look at him.

"I'm sorry," I said as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Do you still do it?" He asked.

"Not a lot," I answered.

"Listen, your father is a fucking asshole. If I knew what he did to you sooner I would've beat his fucking ass. I hate seeing you act like this. I hate what he did to you. I hate that he's making you feel this way. I swear if I ever see him again I'll kill him."

"He said you'd leave me," I buried my face into his shoulder and cried.

"I won't. I promise I won't. I love you too much to do that," he kissed my head.

"Promise me something?" I asked.

"Anything."

"Promise me you won't ever leave me? Not for anything?"

"I promise."

"Promise me that you won't ever hurt me?" I asked.

"Yeah. Yeah I promise. Of course I promise." 

"I love you," I pulled his face down and kissed him.

"I love you more," he smiled.

"That's impossible."

"But it's not."

*****

Hey sorry it took so long to update. I graduated on Thursday and the last day of school was Friday and I'm very happy. I also saw The Fault In Our Stars yesterday and it was truly amazing. God bless John Green. I hope you all had a nice day I love you all and thank you for reading. :)