dear mom

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dear mom,

i know it's been some time since our last talk.

i'm sorry i only call you when i need to cry.

life feels like a river lately, ebbing and flowing.

it's carving a canyon out of me.


i've been considering selling my teeth.

a buck per a molar might be an adventure.

it's all that's left of me to give.

you know i ache til i give.


a gum smile won't matter--

i plan on being alone. anyway,

if i think of my skin like a sweater

maybe i can be comfortable again

when i remember the world is cold.


each day i bathe in lavender

and light myself on fire

to see the smoke rings

make halos around my head.

i do it over and over and over and over

till everything feels alright.


at night i trek the vowelless lands

with rose petal band-aids covering my knees.

but when the thorns pierce, i practice my breathing.

mom, i haven't forgotten what you taught me.


someday i will die and come home.

maybe you won't recognize me then.

i guess that's the ambition.

i'm breaking my mirror

and letting go of superstition

so that i can make you proud again.


with love,

Lemon

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