TRACKSiDED

STALKER

"Perhaps it's just the beginning. Maybe we're being watched right now," Mona says with a devilish grin that sends shivers up my spine.

Mona finds it funny, but she has scared the shit out of me. My cousin knows how I quickly go on angsty trips. For some reason, I get the impression Mona did it on purpose; she seems to enjoy taunting me.

"Jane, don't make that face. I was kidding, okay," Mona says, tapping on my hand, but it's too late. Paranoia redecorates my mind.

In my afternoon lessons, my eyes dart about like a ferret, expecting someone to pop out of the shadows with a hair clipper to shave my hair in a public execution or a group of teens throwing flour and rotten eggs at me. Yes, Boys over Flowers left its imprint on my hard drive.

I wonder if the person is there watching me and if he finds it amusing?

The feeling haunts me, and I'm a total wreck when I meet with Tae Won.

"Hi."

"Annyeong."

The word annyeong makes me shiver. It doesn't seem like a greeting anymore, but a Death Note.

"Jane is everything okay; you look pale?"

"I'm-I'm."

I feel I'm losing feet, and Tae Won grips me.

"Don't touch me," I say, regaining composure as my desire to dissipate any misunderstanding is stronger than smashing my head against the pavement.

Tae Won frowns at my reaction, which seems to have contradicted him; he looks around and points his head in a bench direction, "come, there's a bench over there, let's sit there a minute."

Tae Won never gets mad; I'm amazed at how he manages to control the situation and his temper.

I follow, making sure to maintain a consistent gap between us.

"Jane, is there a problem?"

Tae Won is very straightforward; I like that because pondering on the meaning of things and trying to find accurate interpretations isn't something I practice, but I wished he could play pretend and skip the questioning right now.

"No," I reply. Tae Won doesn't seem convinced, probably because I don't appear persuaded either.

"Did something happen today?"

The throbbing in my eyes alerts me of a probable panic attack; everyone seems suspicious, and it gives me the impression that all eyes are upon us.

My breath quickens, and my voice is a trail of gasps as I reply, "Tae Won, is it okay if we skip today's lesson? I'm not feeling well."

A wet sensation covers my skin once more. I'm sweating, I take my bag and search for tissues, but Tae Won already has one out and hands it to me.

The hand swat goes off without warning, "don't do that."

"Okay, Jane spit it out. What's going on?"

"You, you are going on. I told you we shouldn't see each other in places other than libraries or study halls, and now there are rumors."

"What rumors?"

From Tae Won's question mark expression, I can tell he doesn't have a clue of what I'm talking about; at least he pretends not to know. Tae Won remains collected. He doesn't even bring up the guy in the alley he chased away.

I sigh, "forget it."

"No, Jane, speak," Tae Won makes a gesture to grab my hand.

When did this happen, when did we get into these tacky touching gestures?

I pull back.

"Tae Won, I heard you have a girlfriend and-."

"Who's bothering you?"

"Tae Won, it's not the problem. The thing is, you should spend time with her."

The grave expression Tae Won gives me hints he doesn't appreciate what I'm saying.

Frustrated by the incomprehension in the air, I get up.

"I don't have a girlfriend, Jane, andㅡ."

At that moment, Tae Won's voice drowns in the sound of a passing bike ringing its bell. Startled, I jump.

I'm scared, the messages are getting to me, my heart races, I'm trembling, and I'm deaf to the sounds surrounding us, and that's when I realize I'm in Tae Won's arms. He hugs me.

Suddenly it's as though someone takes out the earplugs, and I hear what Tae Won is saying, "qwenchana, Jane, I'm here. You're not alone; I'm with you."

People must be staring, and I sink my head further into his chest, which shields me. Something in me tells me what I'm doing is dangerous, and I should push him away, but Jane, the coward, stays there buried in Tae Won's protective arms.

Yes, my name is Jane Austen, and I'm an absolute shameless wreck.