TRACKSiDED

짝사랑*

It seems any man will do except me.

"Don't think I believe your play, Brad. Your obsession with Jane is beyond human comprehension. For all I know, you're paying someone to freak her out, so she falls into your arms."

I chuckle and sit up, "Mona, that's sick, I know I'm a douchebag in your eyes, but I rather see Jane happy with someone else than broken and miserable. I would never do such a thing. I love her too much; I mean, I loved her that much."

Mona cocks her eyebrows and crosses her arms.

"Mona, it's not me. It can't be because my thoughts are occupied by someone else."

Mona smiles, "Brad Nixon has a new obsession; I wonder who the doomed lady is."

"It's you, you dumbass girl."

Mona does a backslide of offense with her head, and I understand I should have avoided the dumbass part. Suddenly the mushy love scenes evaporate as she attacks me.

"Oh, my God, you are such a cheapskate. Couldn't you find something else to say to wiggle you out of this mess? You're the stalker, Brad, I'm sure. What you just said now proves it."

"What, I like you, and I'm the stalker that adds up in your head. Do you seriously think I'm an asshole to the point of being interested in you to divert attention? Holy shit, Mona, I thought you knew each other better than that. Okay, you can be mad because I was too blind to notice your feelings, but I see them now, and I want to respond to them, and you're saying it's wrong.

"What do you expect, Brad? That you'd say that and I'd fall in your arms when I know you've been in love with my cousin for eight years?

My gaze shifts to different spots on the floor as though an answer would spring out of it. I lift my head and approach her.

"Believe it or not, I want to try, 사귈래 [sageulrae=let's date].

"What?"

"Date me, Mona, try me and throw me away if I disappoint you."

"I know your game, Brad; I won't play subs."

Mona doesn't know; a girl like her can't be a substitute, at least not for me.

"I've played the games, Mona; I'm too old and too lazy for that."

You sometimes see women overestimate us. They think that we run about scheming and cheating, but most of us are lazy. Seducing women demands energy, midnight texts, morning calls, gifts, an attentive ear, etc.

When you decide to be with someone, you are signing an implicit contract for a neverending marathon because the story doesn't start at the crush. That's the cruise part where you play your movie in your head, and it's always satisfying. You're the director and the lead; you swim in self-content.

So here I am, ready to sign with Mona, and she doesn't believe me.

"Okay, Mona, I'm not in love with you, not yet. I respect you; I can't lie to you. But I know the feelings are there, give us a chance, make me a fool for you."

"Brad."

"Mona, a chance 딱 한번만 [tak han beon man=just once]," I say taking her hand, she doesn't pull away, "let me take care of you for once."

I pull her close and kiss her.

We kiss a while, standing next to my bed; I don't push things further, though all the conditions are unified. I have to admit the fact I'm aware Mona is still a virgin refrain me. I don't know how I feel about her, and she doesn't know how I am as a boyfriend.