I Needed This (Jerrie)

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Perrie

"Are you sure you won't take Mam out on a date tonight?" Florence, my oldest pestered, when she planted herself next to me on the sofa.

"I would Flo but what about Isaiah you know he's still so little, I can't just up and leave." I reminded her, gesturing to the baby sat in my lap, who had taken years to arrive.

"But Mum I look after him, I've done it before. Just a couple of hours, a film maybe. Pleeeease! I promise I'll be good and Isaiah I will be in bed by the time you get back and I'll text you if anything goes wrong. Please take her out, she needs it." She pleaded, batting her eyelashes like there was no tomorrow. 

"Flo I can't babe I really can't. it was only ten minutes last time and I was even on edge then babe" I explained, recalling the time I left them to go to the post office.

"Then get Aunt Jesy to look after us or something but Mum please take her out, she deserves it. You know how works been treating her, please mum." She suggested, sounding more desperate by the second.

"Absolutely not Aunt Jesy is out with Harry, Auntie Lee is with Andre. We can't, just simply can't, not today." I lied, knowing if I asked either if them they'd drip plans in a heartbeat.

"But, but Mum it's Valentine's Day and you haven't been out in so long and you deserve it both of you. You work so hard." She sighed, then carried on, taking Isaiah from my lap, "Look Isaiah and I will be fine here for a couple of hours nothing's going to go wrong, I mean I'm 15 for goodness sake mum I'm not a baby anymore." 

I chuckled at that before shaking my head, continuing, "Flo I can't I'm sorry love"

"Please Mum, what is it going to take you to convince you?" She begged, standing the chunky boy up on her legs.

"You're not going to be able to Flo, I've made up my mind." I said sternly, once again shaking my head.

"Fine then at least make her a nice dinner and I'll watch Isaiah upstairs in the house so you can have a night on your own. I'll bathe him and everything, you won't have to worry, it'll be like we don't exist, just for one night, for Mam." She offered, standing up, resting Isaiah on her hip now.

"Okay then" I nodded slowly, "god you've done it again so you've twisted my arm" I shook my head, watching as she bounced up and down, Isaiah still cuddled into her side.

"yay thanks Mum Mam is going to love it! Its just you and me Siah" She cheered, tickling Isiah's side.

"What am I going to do with you eh? Now Mam will be back soon so I'll start cooking if you tidy up down here." I said, jumping up.

Jade POV

Trying to focus on the road, I took my left hand off the gear stick and wiped away a tear. I felt like the whole world was against me, nothing was going right. Everyday I would receive homophobic comments from co-workers who didn't approve of my relationship. Comments about Florence and how she shouldn't have been allowed to be raised in our family, that the council should have not picked us to look after her. Or comments about how Isaiah would turn out 'wrong' because he was an IVF baby being raised in a same sex parent family. To put all of this to boot I was struggling with my weight after him and my hormones were imbalanced from the injections and treatments. 

Looking out of the window at the driving rain and speedy cars, I wondered what would happen if I just swerved off the road, veered into the embankment or spun the car, ending my life. My pain would be gone for definite, I'd be doing those in work a favour and the world would undoubtedly be a happier place. However I would only be transferring the pain to the people I loved and I couldn't do that. Yes, my life outside of our peaceful cottage was hell on earth for the most part. But Perrie and the kids could always cheer me up, pull me out of this darkness that was consuming my life. 

So with tears still streaming down my face I pulled into our driveway glad I had made the correct decision for that day. Taking a deep breath I wiped the tears away and swung down the sun visor to check my appearance in the small mirror. I looked ill and tired, my face was blotchy and more tears pooling in my eyes. I had to be happy for the kids, I couldn't let them know I was hurting. So, with that thought pushing me on, I smoothed out my clothes, tidied the smudged mascara and climbed out of the car. 

With 2 bunches of Tulips in my hand, I let myself into the house, ready to see my family for the first time that day. 

"H-Honey?" I stuttered, cursing under my breath at the shakiness of my voice. 

"In here Love," she shouted back from the kitchen.

Smiling, I dropped my bag down and made my way into the kitchen where classical music seemed to be playing. When I entered my jaw dropped, sat on the table in front of me was a perfectly cooked Lasagne, two plates, a bottle of fairly pricey wine, some roses and a card. By the table was her amazing wife.

"Babe" I sighed, the tears coming back, "Thank you"

"Oh Jadey, come here you silly goose," Perrie cooed, opening her arms for her wife. 

"This is amazing Pez, I really needed this." I whispered, still overwhelmed.

"It was Flo's idea, she wanted us to go out but I said no so she settled for a candle lit dinner  whilst she watches Si upstairs." Perrie divulged, pulling away to look at me.

"Thanks Flo" I shouted, so she could hear me.

"Love you mam" she shouted back making me chuckle. 

I looked back at Perrie and dipped down kissing her, "and thank you beautiful wife" I added, handing her one of the bouquets, the other being for Flo.

"Thanks Jade, shall we eat?" Perrie asked, pulling out my chair for me.

"I love you, I hope you know that Babe." She told me once we snuggled up on the couch in front of the TV, Isaiah and Florence both by us, fast asleep.

"I know you do, nothing anyone could say to me could make me love you or the kids any less."

"good," she sighed, closing her eyes, drifting into a deep sleep.

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