Unforgivable Promises (Snarry story)

Chapter 9

After Snape's appraisal of Oliver Wood as a fine specimen, Harry was grateful to see the subject turn quickly to other matters. Still, it was comforting to think that there was someone he could say those things to without worrying about how the other would respond.

"Professor?" Harry asked. "I'm not complaining, but why did you say you would teach everyone combat so quickly? If you don't mind me saying so, you aren't usually that agreeable. And why are you afraid of Mrs. Weasley but not Neville's grandmother?"

"First and foremost, Potter, I am not afraid of the Weasley tribe. But I do have to live here for the duration of the summer, and her voice grates enough as it is. As for Mrs. Longbottom, I am quite sure I will receive some epistolary tongue lashing. The boy has a right to avenge his parents, though."

"Have you seen them?" Harry focused on the candle's flame. "It's horrible."

Harry turned his eyes to Snape, who was watching him carefully. It was a look that would have made the boy uncomfortable a few months ago; Harry now recognized it as contemplative. With something decided, Snape pulled his wand and cast a spell on the walls.

At Harry's curious look, Snape said, "A spell to prevent eavesdroppers." He replaced his wand and went on. "We have something of an unspoken agreement that I would like to...formalize. What passes between us in private stays only between us, agreed?"

"Of course, Professor."

"I was there when Bellatrix tortured the Longbottoms." The blood drained from Harry's face. Leave it to Snape to head right into the topic. "I could have stopped it. I did not. Does that disgust you, Mr. Potter?"

"I...Well, it disgusts me that it happened, yes. But that you didn't stop?" Harry frowned and sighed. "I was there when Cedric was killed. I could have stopped that, maybe. But I was too caught up in my own pain and fear that I didn't even think about trying to find my wand until it was too late. I guess I'm not any more disgusted by you than I am of myself."

"An honest answer. It was the Longbottoms, or what happened to them, that finally drove me to where I am now. It is one thing to kill one's enemies. Even to disable them in some way. But either choice, should you have the luxury of the choice, should be the more merciful of the two. And here, perhaps, begins your first lesson in combat. An enemy fighting for his life is easier to kill than to disarm. Humans are fragile creatures, and there are many more things that can end a life than simply hurt someone. In war, we do not have time to gauge our spells to fall within that narrow range of power that will disable but not kill. So we guarantee our own survival at the cost of another's."

Snape conjured two cups of tea and took a sip from one, offering the other to Harry. "When they captured the Longbottoms, they took their wands and bound them. They were no threat to anyone. They could have been killed, too. But the torture they underwent served no purpose. Bellatrix had no reason to suspect that they knew where the Dark Lord was, despite what the Headmaster may have said. But she enjoyed torture and her Lord had just been defeated. It was then that I truly knew I was out of place." Snape's voice grew soft and his attention turned inward. "It was never my intention to be a part of that."

Harry sipped his tea silently. After a few moments, Snape's eyes looked back up at Harry. When he spoke again, his voice was strong as ever. "There is a reason I am telling you this, Mr. Potter. As much as you dislike hearing it, and as much as I dislike acknowledging it, your survival is paramount. I will not refuse Longbottom the chance to take revenge that is rightfully his. But I cannot allow him to hold up your progress. So..."

Snape shifted in his chair, and for the first time, Harry recognized discomfort in his teacher's posture. Snape straightened up and said, "I am asking you for a favor." Harry's smirk died quickly under Snape's glare. "Do not let him fall behind. Practice with him, tutor him. Even recruit Granger if you need, but make sure he is as capable as any of the rest of you. Convince him how important it is any way you must, but do not repeat what was said in here."