Randell

Chapter 12

(RPOV)
We left without another look back. I didn't have any regrets neither did Dimitri.
Its been about three weeks staying with the Belikovas. They welcomed us with open arms and understood our choices.
We have had alot of free time so I have been researching the effects of being shadow kissed. Yeva would help as she was home all the time. Dimitri found a job at a local gym as a PT. He was enjoying it. He would often ask about what I found but I didnt want to tell him yet. I needed to make some decisions about what I wanted. I found that I could break the bond with lissa if I so wished but doing this will give me powers that I didnt want. But I didnt want to be bonded with her anymore so I was trying to find a middle ground, which was proving to be difficult.
I was sat babysitting Zoya whilst everyone one was out. She had just fallen asleep on the sofa so I put a blanket on her and went to get myself something to eat. I was processing all the information I had discovered trying to find the answer I wanted and it hit me. I wasnt happy about the idea but it was the only plausible explanation. Im going to have to talk to Dimitri, tonight. I didnt let it fester in my head all day, I focused on looking after Zoya and preparing dinner.
I had the baby monitor set up so I didnt have to be in the same room as her and be able to do my jobs. I heard her start to stir awake so I washed my hands ready to pick her up but by the time I had dried my hands I heard a voice through the machine. It was male I think, the monitor kind of added effects to voices so they all sound the same. I picked up the stake from the draw and cautiously made my way to the living room. I rounded the corner ready to attack the intruder, I cant a glimpse of movement and jumped on them.
"Woah! Its just me!" The person shouted. I looked at them and saw it was Dimitri.
"God Dimitri dont do that! I could have hurt you!" I whisper yelled at him. He smirked and shook his heard brushing it off as if nothing happened. I looked at the clock on the mantle and read the time. 5:11pm. He was t due home til six so I was t expecting him to be here.
"Why are you home so early?" I asked curiosity seeping into my voice.
"My last session called in sick so they sent me home. What have you been up to today?" He asked whilst wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Nothing much. Looking after little one and doing more research," I said not wanting to talk about it just yet.
"Found anything interesting?" Theres the question. He always asks without fail and im still not sure how to answer it.
"Im not sure we will talk about it later," putting it off was the best I could do right now. He gave me a worried look in response and I just waved it off and got back to cooking.
Nothing more was mentioned and we continued like always cooking together and holding each other, just like we wanted it to be.
Shortly after I had put the finishing touches to the meal I had prepared everyone filled in from their errands. Each one hugging us and finding their place in the dining room.
Dinner went smoothly except the worried glances from Dimitri, his eyes said everything, he was worried about what I was going to tell him. I just replied with a 'drop it for now' look. He would just nod. I placed the dishes in the dish washer and signalled Dimitri to follow me outside. I didnt want any of the children hearing what I was about to say because its not age appropriate. He followed without question. He closed the french doors and grabbed my hand.
"What did you find Roza? I can tell that its worrying you, which makes me worry," he always knew what I felt without me telling him.
"Good news or bad news first," I asked hoping he would say good news.
"Good news," he said boldly.
"I found out how to break the bond with Lissa," his face lit up but went into a state of confusion.
"Whats the bad news?" He asked carefully. I dont know whether I want to tell him. He wont agree to it.
"Theres two ways to do it both come with consequences. One is I can mentally break it and in doing so I gain powers. Ones I wont be able to control for years. These powers are dark and run off the darkness. It risks insanity of both me and Lissa," he nodded along processing every but of information I gave him.
"Well in that case we will do the second way," he said thinking he had found a solution.
"Thats the thing Dimitri, I have to die. My heart needs to stop to be able to detach my spirit body from hers. In order to break the bond I need to die," I said quietly.
"No! No way! There had to be another way! I cant let you go insane or die. It would kill me! I love you too much to let you go like that!" He started off by shouting but slowly his voice became a whisper and his arms engulfed me in a hug.
"What am I going to do?" I cried finally releasing all my built up emotions.
"I dont know, keep looking there had to be another way," he said sternly. He was t going to give up that much was evident.
Neither was I.