Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 9

While writing this, I listened to You and I by John Legend and I kept Turning Page by Sleeping At Last on repeat for throughout the whole thing, and I cried so I recommend you listen to it as well :D

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"Got all you need?" Alan asks as I shut the door, panting from running back and forth from my room. My adrenaline and excitement are mixed with my anxiety and nerves. It still surprises me that he agreed to this, after all I've said and done to him, he's actually going to let me be with the man he tried so desperately to get rid of.

"Yeah." I place my duffle bag and two shoulder bags in front of me, leaning back trying to catch my breath for the short ten minute ride.

"I talked to his mom and apparently she's in Jersey." He leans forward against his wheel to check if any cars are coming from the sides of the road and continues.

"Really? I didn't know that." Harry didn't mention that. Not like he had room to with all that had happened.

"Yeah. They have a friend there so she won't be home until Friday."

"They?"

"Her and the little one." I miss Amilia. I haven't seen her in a while and I miss her little voice and humor.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Stay at his house tonight and I'll come by tomorrow and talk to him. I thought about it and it would be too much to tell him how stupid he is for doing something like that, which I'm sure you're probably already going to do. So I'll save my breath until tomorrow." His eyes remain on the road as his hand reaches to tune the radio.

I won't tell Harry how stupid he was. I'll probably tell him how much he scared me and I'll probably tell him how insane he was, but he's not stupid. He was just hurt.

"You're still going to get that gun." He looks to me with stern eyes.

"Yeah, I know." I look away while a bubbly sensation takes over my chest.

I want to take care of him, be there for him, and help him. I want to make sure he's safe and if I have to baby him and hold him in my arms for the next two weeks, then I'll do it. I'll do anything to make up for what I did to him. We both messed up, but I have caused the most damage and it would be selfish of me to let him go through this on his own.

"I'm going to come in with you." He states his last minute decision while pulling up at Harry's house. His car is still on the lawn and his window is broken, his curtains moving with the wind as it flows out his window.

"No, don't do that." I don't know if Harry wanted me to tell him, but I don't want to upset him by showing up with him inside. Plus, all he's going to do is yell and I don't want Harry to deal with that.

"Why not?" He protests putting the car in drive.

"Because," I open my door and step out into the breeze, "just wait here, I'll go get the gun." Saying that word sends chills down my spine.

It's hard to believe it still. From the moment we met, he was always the strong one. His constant handle on situations and fast mind is what always made things work between us. He always knew how to work out a problem; I never realized that he would become so friable.

I grab all the bags from off the floor and hurry up the stairs. He left the door unlocked and I drop my bags, silence numbing my ears once again and I bolt up the stairs with a battering heart. I stand still in front of his closed door, hesitating to open it afraid I'll find him lifeless at my feet. I honestly don't know what I'd do. I'd go crazy; I'd go insane and probably do the same so I could be with him.